26th September 2023

From C. E. Metzger’s Room of Wonder

  • REMEMBER WHEN A PROBLEM RECOGNIZED WAS A PROBLEM HALF SOLVED? THOSE WERE THE DAYS! (9/25/2023) Posted in: Americana and Globalrama, Econ 101: Where's the Play?, Spiritual, Thoughts, Trending Words and Phrases


    Due to our sympathy for the Writer’s Strike, we have no update on our production of “Troubles in the Garden”. All we can do is show you a picture of nothing happening. Just plants growing late in the season. Vines slowly turning odd colors. Maybe, if you squint you could imagine a grape, or two, possibly waiting to be harvested for your pleasure.



    • There is more news than there is room to fit half of it in the print. And the same is true about trying to fit it on the TV and the various Internet platforms. So, how can you keep up? Me? I don’t think one can. And what are you going to do about whatever it is you know about? But just because you can’t do anything about whatever it is, does that mean you should not try to be aware? What?  Maybe the AI Robots can take it all in…and maybe they will tell us what is important…and maybe that will be a new problem not half solved. … On the lighter side:
    • Last week I read that 3% of U.S. workers dress up for the occasion. Then I saw that the U.S. Senate threw out the dress code and I imagine the number will deteriorate further. ‘Casual Friday’ started it all in the late 80’s and I guess that was a slippery slope that no one could foresee at the time….
    • Then I read that 1/2 of Americans eat 3 snacks a day…the report did not say how many snacks the other half eats.
    • A report shows that watching a Beaver eat cabbage can reduce stress by 17%.  Is this: 1) ‘News’ worthy? 2) Qanon looking for a story? 3) Something planted to take my mind off what is really happening out There?
    • I read someone is currently hacking – for Ransomware – the Casinos in Vegas. $450 million has been paid to the hackers so far. I think this is good news because no hacker is going to hack me when they can hack the Casinos for ‘Large’ payments. I’ll bet if the Mob in Vegas hadn’t sold out to the big Corporations – they would not have paid  one thin dime to the hackers.
    • One report I read said that “…more than 1 in 5 U.S. adults have started, or tried to start, their own business in the past 3 1/2 years. The article suggested this figure is influenced by the  upward swing in ‘Job Loss’ numbers. This number is exceeded by the Saudis and the Emirites. So, you do not want to go to those places – unless you have a good idea for a sandwich shop…people, everywhere, like to eat and that might be a good idea.

    This is where we usually post comments from MATHUZALA, our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist – and then try to Hype our Book “THE RAT PAPERS” to help our readers understand the answer to the question “What’s Going on?”  But MATHUZALA has gone rogue and the NYC Rat Czar is trying to hunt him down. We fear for his safety …and we fear the book we are trying to hype may be banned in Florida, Texas, Russia, and North Korea. So, if you are concerned your information might be hacked by any of these evil forces – do not buy the book online.

    Quotes and info:

    •  The word NEWS was originally an acronym: North, East, West & South. Back in the day, an image of a compass appeared in the upper right corner of a journal with the letters pointed out. So, now you know. -cem
    • “There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.” –Soren Kierkegaard
    • “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    That’s all the NEWS that fits this Blog this week…and a fond “Hello” to all the People of Greve.


  • IN THE NEWS BUSINESS: “IF IT ‘BLEEDS’ IT LEADS”; BUT WHAT IF A LOT OF THE NEWS BLEEDS? WHAT LEADS? (9/18/2023) Posted in: Americana and Globalrama, Econ 101: Where's the Play?, Spiritual, Thoughts, Trending Words and Phrases

    There is no update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”, due to our sympathy with the writers strike.  We show you this picture to remind you that life can still be pretty good, even without a movie or a TV Series to watch. But you have to know where to go and how to find what you want – once you are there. Come back next week; maybe, by then we will know the secret to all this… and if we do – we’ll share it with you .


    (This posting is a three minute read – and was neither written, nor edited, by a Robot – which could read it in a millisecond)


    • The music they play when they put you on ‘Hold’ is worse than elevator music ever was. How is that possible? But it is. I think it is deliberate…here is my thought: You get so tired of it, or agitated even – that you are thrilled when an actual voice comes on…and you do not care if the person behind that voice does not speak any language with which you are familiar. Also, I have been taking a morning coffee at a local Starbucks lately and I find the music they play for the outside imbibers closely rivals the “Hold’ music on the phone; but I cannot come up with a reason as to why Starbucks does this, except maybe it is to encourage us to move on to another place now that we’ve finished paying. That has to be it.
    • I have read much about the fear of AI and its taking over of everything – and I have been able to cope with that. AI writing term papers, movie scripts, legislation, etc., etc. AI eliminating all kinds of jobs, forever. AI coupling with robotics and doing everything we can do: Walking the dog, cleaning the house, moving stuff out of the Amazon warehouse, etc., etc.  I can live with all that, too. But, other day I saw a demonstration of a sleek, athletic looking Robot playing Pickle Ball in a doubles match. It (He?) was partnered with an athletic looking human against two other flesh & blood types. The Robot was crazy good. Better and quicker than anybody ever could be. He hogged all the shots from his side. All put-aways. You had to see it to believe. Now I get it and I am scared -and I don’t know why. I don’t even play Pickle Ball.
    • I read there is a growing number of people – mostly men – who believe the construction of Roundabouts in our road-systems is responsible for the new, hefty Tornado activity throughout our country.  My temptation is to relegate these idiots to membership of the Far-Right; but I have not found any studies to back up my hunch.
    • There are Falsifiers and there are Deniers and the twain have met and are starting their own country in a land where there are already people…sort of like what happened to the people who were here before the Puritans – a couple of hundred years ago.

    MATHUZALA our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist continues to not to SPEAK to us – as he is missing in action. We have not seen him picketing with the Hollywood writers, nor with the Auto Workers…so, we know where he is not. Rumors abound. One of them has it MATHUZALA  and his crew have gone down to Florida where there might be easy pickings regarding causing dissension among the people who are not woke.

    Were you to want to understand why MATHUZALA  and his crew want to cause dissension among an otherwise peaceful folk – you might want to buy a copy of “THE RAT PAPERS” from an on-line bookstore near you.



    • “That the better self shall prevail and each generation introduce its successor to a higher plane of life’ -Hawken School motto….Good motto; but is it up there with the good intentions of “Prayers & Thoughts
    • “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.” -Spoken by a dying robot in “Blade Runner”

      That’s all there is for this week…and a fond “Hello” ..and “Thanks for reading” to Alice K ….Wherever you are

  • IF EVERYTHING THAT COULD BE SAID HAS BEEN SAID; DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO SAY? (9/11/2023) Posted in: Americana and Globalrama, Econ 101: Where's the Play?, Spiritual, Thoughts, Trending Words and Phrases

    No updates on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden” due to our sympathy for the Writers Strike. However, we offer this photo which might inspire some of our readers to take a breather from it all and “Go Beach” or do something like that, which might help you take your mind off all the crazy people and anxiety inducing events of the day. Hopefully, our cast of critters will be able to return to our story soon…and all will return to Normal.



    • I have just read that I can make up to over $740 a day by practically doing nothing all day long. All I have to do is pay a small amount of money (i.e.,”Paywall”0 and ‘They’ will tell me how I can do it. in some cases ‘They’ say all I have to do is listen to music, or review some shows & stuff – all while sitting in my chair. Sounds good. Better than work even. All I need is to find the $7 or whatever it is to pay for the secret.
    • I also learned that if I’m over 60 the U.S. government will pay me over $3500 in a credit card if I just fill out ‘the form below’ by 5 O’clock tonight. Ooops, is that EST? or California time?
    • There are: ‘Secret’ formulas for Urinary problems…, and Ointments with ‘Secret’ vitamins for cataracts…a ‘Secret’ hidden Vitamin you could ‘buy now’ which will  1) Help you lose weight, for good. 2) or, Make you feel young again or 3) Re-energize your brain…It seems to me the Age of Hucksterism has returned to our land in full strength (Biglie!)….now that many ‘Secrets’ are being inexpensively exploited.
    • There a several articles out there saying they can tell you (if you hit the Paywall) whether or not you can retire on a Million and a Half dollars – and make it to the end. “Sacre Bleu” (I don’t want to curse) Only Million and a Half dollars? And people don’t think that is enough? …I better take one of those jobs where you sit around and make over $740 a day while I figure out how to make it to the end.
    • I heard & saw a man on a ‘Reel’ say that the sudden upsurge in Tornado’s in the United States is caused by all the roundabouts having been built in our road systems. He has garnered thousands of views.  I hope he does not run for President.

    MATHUZALA does not SPEAK. As you might know, our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist has gone missing these past few weeks. Perhaps the worst has happened. Perhaps, worse than that his movement to take control of NYC is already underway and he is hiding out in a subway tunnel somewhere.  ( Readers have informed us they think MATHUZALA is not a Rat; but a Gerbil. We know him, in fact, to be a large Rat – and his appearance has been altered by several experiments conducted on him at the Rockefeller Institute before he escaped.For more on this go out and buy several copies of “THE RAT PAPERS” (sold at Amazon or Barnes & Noble – through your phone or computer)


    There are no “Notes From Tuscany” today due to our being Stateside. We are seeking a long term visa so we can stay there until the end.



    • “Day dong da ding-dong/A-lang-da-lang-da-lang/Ah, woah, woah, bi/Ah bi-ba-do-da-dip, woah” -Sh-Boom, The Chords, 1954
    • “Anything that is too stupid to be spoken can be sung” -Voltaire, late 1700’s
    • “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” -Sarah Brown

    That’s it for this week…and a fond “Hello” to Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

  • MOST PEOPLE DON’T LIKE MOST PEOPLE OTHER THAN THE ONES THEY ALREADY LIKE.* (9/4/2023) Posted in: Americana and Globalrama, Econ 101: Where's the Play?, Spiritual, Thoughts, Trending Words and Phrases

    No update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”, due to our sympathy for the Writer’s Strike. However, the good news is: The writers aren’t the only ones who have a difficult time of it. Look at what some artist saw when he looked out at the night sky – and he was not even on strike. It goes to show when times are bad, they could be worse for others – but that is of little consolation. Isn’t it?


    *A Study in waiting


    • Alert! I read there are more germs on the menu, then there are on the toilet seats.  I mean the germs are not offered on the menu; but they are actually on the menu. So what do you do with this information? Not go to restaurants that have menus? Examine the toilet seats before you look at the menu? Call in to find out what is on the menu, other than germs? It is getting tough out there.
    • For some reason I looked up the history of the expression “He is not one to suffer fools gladly” and to my surprise I found it originates from St. Paul and his letter to the Corithians (2 Corinthians 11:19.) Apparently, St. Paul was being sarcastic, and more apparently, this saying has been misunderstood by many Realamericans  of today who believe they should actually be suffering fools gladly. I know this might be treading where Angels fear to tread; but alas, I am no Angel.
    • This week I read Excorcisms have gone up dramatically in the past year.  Questions need be asked: 1) Is this true? Or are we just getting more information,  what with social media and all? 2) If true, does it seem to be doing any good in the big picture? 3) Is there a Netflix episode series here  – if the Writer’s strike ever ends? 4) should an exorcist do the negotiations for the Writer’s strike?
    • Data reveals there are almost as many Wiccans in the U.S. (over 800,000 – and growing) as there are Presbyterians (1,100,000 -and declining). I cannot find which political party the Wiccans subscribe to, or how many there are in Congress.
    • I wasted some of my time this week reading an article which postulated that if you tie your tie too tightly you could restrict the blood flow to your brain and grow temporarily stupid, or worse, depending on how tightly you tied it. I wonder if they can do a study to see if red ties  or blue ties have been tied too tightly more than the other…especially in the halls of Congress. There I tread again.


    This is where we usually post MATHUZALA’s (our Resident Rodent’s) trenchant column – but he has gone missing now, these many weeks. On the one hand, we fear for his safety, on the other hand, he has told us he was on a mission to change ‘things’ – and ‘things’ have been changing  – so maybe it is going well for him. Were you to want to know what ‘things’ MATHUZALA is about to change, go buy and read “THE RAT PAPERS” (Amazon or Barnes & Noble) and prepare yourself.



    • “Be careful out there.”  -Hill Street Blues
    • “How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” -A phrase for wasting time – debating topics of no practical value, or on questions whose answers hold no intellectual consequence, while more urgent concerns accumulate.
    • “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” -Proverbs of Erasmus, 1539

    That’s it for this week…and a fond “Hello” to Rocketman Jim, wherever you are…

  • “THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE LESS YOU KNOW”: WHICH MEANS I MUST KNOW A LOT! (8/28/2023) Posted in: Americana and Globalrama, Econ 101: Where's the Play?, Spiritual, Thoughts, Trending Words and Phrases

    No Update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden” – as we are in sympathy with the Writers Strike. As you will be able to discern when you read below, even our editor has not come in to work.  However, we will show you a photo of what can happen in nice parts of the world from time to time.  (Chianti  vineyard – Tuscany)



    • Studies show: 1 in 3 Americans could not pass the multiple choice test required for immigrants to become U.S. citizens. 1) I bet the reader of this thinks the third that would flunk the test belongs to the political party that the reader  does not belong to. 2) I bet a higher percentage of immigrants think Biden is President of the U.S. than Americans do. 3) A higher percentage of Americans did not know who we fought against in WW11…which goes to show you we are not living in the past.
    • A study shows: Money  (an increase of) does make you “Happier”. 1) I should have seen this study in my earlier years and gone for the more money approach to life – and become even more happy than I am 2) But, as you know, many studies are corrupted by the Rich and Powerful and perhaps they sanctioned  this study just to have even more to lord over the rest of us.
    • A study shows that holding hands can reduce the intensity of physical pain. They say when  a couple holds hands; brain waves synchronize. It is called “The Coupling Effect”. 1) I’ll bet that won’t work with half the country holding hands with people belonging to the other half of the country – you know what I mean. I mean there are some people you do not want to hold hands with no matter how much pain they put you in.
    • A study reveals  “The Bulk of a Murder rate is really a ‘Sweat Valve’ for Society,.. one that prevents (or proceeds) the gathering of mob discontent and  true meaningful civil strife…which could lead to institutional change. A conclusion of this study is a certain amount of murder is to be anticipated as “tension release”. 1) Maybe these potential murderers could benefit by holding hands. 2) Or could more money help? 3) If you were asked on your U.S. Citizen’s exam if ‘Murder’ was: a) a ‘Crime’?  or b) a ‘Sweat Valve’? and you checked #b) you  probably did not pass.
    • Good News: A study on 3,000 rats shows only 2% to 3% of rats exposed to 9 hours a day of radio frequency similar to 2G and 3G phones get a dealdyform of brain cancer and only 7%  develop heart tumors. 1) What do the rats think of that? 2)What does this have to do with me? 3)How do you get the Money for these studies? 4) How do yo get 3,ooo rats?

    This is where we usually have our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist MATHUZALA present his thoughts. As many of our readers know, he has gone missing the past few weeks…However, sources tell us, he is enraged by the study mentioned in the last ‘Bullet’ of our post. It is human activities such as this that has inspired MATHUZLA to create the movement he has set in motion. Were you to want to know more about what is coming, go to Amazon, or Barnes & Noble and purchase several copies of “THE RAT PAPERS a (non) BEST SELLER. (Shown below)


    Some quotes which come to mind because of what is posted above.

    • “Tous les choses de monde a une viscose”…Rough translation: “Everything has a stickiness” or “Everything has a cost”. -Blaise Pascal
    • “Holding hands at midnight/‘Neath a starry sky/ Nice work if you can get it/ And you can get it, if you try” -Sung by Frank Sinatra…”Nice Work if You Can Get It”


    Th, Th, That’s all folks…and a fond “Hello” To La Pamela, my Editor, wherever you may be…


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