It could be the News, it could be the weather; but I am having a little ‘Writer’s Block’. So, trying to kickstart a stream of consciousness I am looking at a few notes I have here,.. thoughts from others…international, domestic & irrelevant

• “Being five minutes early is being late.”- German Proverb. (In NYC you are still “on time” if you are only 20 minutes late.)
• “God invented Alcohol so the Irish would not conquer the world.”  -Irish Saying.
• “Americans will always do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.”” -Winston Churchill
• “Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.” -‘Mathew 7:12’.  or,…
• “Do unto others before they do unto you.” -Perhaps from the ‘Book of ICE, Chapter 1: Verse 7’
• “It does not require many words to speak the truth.” -Chief Joseph
• “Les Gros Poissons mangent les petit.””  -(Trans.: “Big fish eat little fish.” -French proverb)

Aahhh, at last, some thoughts are trickling in…

• “Money Talks, Nobody Walks”‘ -American Proverb…Speaking of which, I have a money making idea: You know how with AI we can alter images of things? Well, I say we  make a little statuette – coffee table size – and re-image the Statue of Liberty: Give her big lips, maybe long hair hanging down, put jewelry on her arms and maybe a $10,000 watch on her wrist…maybe take that light out of her hand, put a gun in there…put on a bullet-proof vest and maybe place some zip-ties and smoke bombs in her other hand. Keep the words “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…” those will still make sense.. Anyway, I say we could make and sell this statue as a piece of Merch. I want 10%.

• I see where The President is saying when he appears to have fallen asleep in meetings…he is not actually sleeping…he says he already knows what is going on in the meetings and he is concentrating on future plans and events. That’s what I do too. But when I open my eyes I forget what those plans and events were going to be. Usually when I open my eyes after closing them for a half hour or so, I have to go to the bathroom. I wonder how He can just sit there and not have to go to the bathroom. There is much to be learned.

 

• I read: In Texas, a college philosophy professor was forbidden to teach about Plato. Intrigued, I looked up this guy Plato to see what was so bad. He was a student of Socrates and then a teacher to Aristotle. He started the first known Academy. His ‘Masterpiece’ is “The Republic”, wherein he spoke about how good a Republic could be. Some intellectuals consider him to be the father of Western thought. His mistake, was he spoke of Race and Gender – things we do not want to discuss in Texas…(maybe soon to be verboten in Florida and Louisiana)… I then looked up the word  ‘Platonic’ in the dictionary to see if I was missing something: “…adjective.  (Of love or friendship) Intimate but not sexual their relationship is purely platonic.” Who needs to learn of these things anyway? …However, I hear the Taxes are low, low in Texas – so it’s a fine place to live.
• I have been looking at a map and He is right; Greenland is close to the North Pole and could be a threat to us if somebody wanted to invade us from there, after we take all the minerals and valuable things and who knows what will happen when the ice melts and only we can save the people from the danger of it all. Congress does not seem to care what He will do…and it looks like the Richey Riches up in Davos could understand – far better than I – what He said about all that the other day. I like the idea of paying  the Greenlanders a half-million Dollars, each, to become the next State. I am applying for citizenship after this posting. But what happens if I’m in Greenland looking for my money – but He really meant ‘Iceland”, which He actually said couple of times …and I’m stuck in Greenland when the Russians invade? This New Normal is getting complicated.
• Have you seen anymore fishing boats full of cocaine or fentanyl coming at us from – (as He has called it…) “Venezualeria”? I don’t think so. Ooops, this just in: We sunk a couple more fishing boats this morning – My bad. I read, or heard, so it must be true – that we have saved 25,000 American lives a day by taking the oil from the “Venezualerians” and shooting dead their Drug dealing, murdering, raping fishing boats. Something like that. No wonder so many MAGAs like what’s going on.

The Progress Of Man…..Part One

There was a time, not so long ago, after a man was born he learned to pick berries, fruits, and things – and goes home to his cave and eats and sleeps and has a nice life. Nobody asks him where he is from, or what he does for a living, or how many nuts he has in his cave. But look what happens today:

• He gets born and receives a birth certificate – which he better keep all of his days.
• Maybe he gets some vaccines…if so, should keep a record of all.
• If he’s normal, he will want a driver’s license…(The car needs a license – and insurance – which should be kept in the ‘glove’..
• If he goes to college, he should keep a copy of his degree, in case anybody wants proof.
• A passport is required, if he wants to travel, or to prove he is legally where he is..
• Maybe he needs proof of a medical insurance. Keep it in the wallet.
• Credit cards, in case he needs to buy something. Keep the FICO up high.
• Some States require a License to carry a gun, if you can imagine.
• Marriage license, if he’s so inclined.
• If he wants to be a: Doctor, Lawyer, Hair Dresser, etc.,  he’ll need a license to do those things. Put it on the wall.
• He needs to keep records of: Bank Account codes, How to open the computer…
• Secret codes are necessary, so he can get into his: Social Security, Tax files, credit card statements, home printer, public utility statements, brokerage accounts, IPhone, Instagram account, etc, etc…
• Set up his G-mail and Email accounts (with secret codes)
• Also, Secret codes for; Amazon, Apple and everybody he wants to buy from or do business with.
• If he served in the Military, he should keep his VA card in his wallet, just in case.
• As he ‘gets on’, he should keep his pertinent health records on him.
• He should write a will and tell people where the will is and he should make it easy for the living to identify who is in charge of his particulars and how he should be disposed of.

It is best to keep all of these things in Hard Copy – as well as up in ‘The Cloud”.

None of this is as easy as picking berries and going back to rest in the cave – but such is the Progress Of Man.

 

Gobsmacked by the news of Current Events, I have retreated to reviewing Thoughts, Words, Advice from Others. To wit:

• “Whoever is dissatisfied with himelf is continually ready for revenge, and we others will be his victims.” -F Nietzsche , 1844
• “No one ever suddenly became depraved.” -Juvenal, circa 100 A.D.
• “It ain’t over ’till it’s over” -Y Berra, Baseball player
• “BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” -G Orwell, 1940’s
• No! No! Sentence first – verdict afterwords!” Lewis Carroll, 1800’s, wrote “Alice in Wonderland”
• “The broad mass of a nation…will more easily fall victim to a big lie, than to a small one.” -A Hitler
• “Whom God would destroy, he first sends mad.” -J Duport, writer, 1600’s
• “Money without brains is always dangerous.” -Napoleon Hill, early 1900’s
• “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” -SamuelJohnson, 1700’s
• “The optimist proclaims we live in the Best of all Possible Worlds and the pessimist fears this is true.” -James Cabell, circa 1950’s
• “Every dictator uses religion as a prop to keep himself in power.” -Benazir Bhutto, early 2000’s
• “Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines impose, nor cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.” -The U.S. Constitution, 1787
• “Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.” -M Muggeridge, mid-1990’s
• “The Citizen’s first duty is unrest.” -Gunter Grass, mid-1900’s
• “Don’t get mad, get everything” -Ivana Trump, late 1900’s, on advice to wronged wives
• “The Medium is the message.”  -M McLuhan,  mid-1900’s (and the messenger is AI)
• “Only the little people pay taxes.” -Leona Helmsley, mid-1900’s….
• “I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.”  -B Grocott, mid-1900’s
• “Any pitcher who throws at a hitter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.” –Alvin Dark, Coach, 1950’s…(Back when America was great)
• “Nobody wants Justice.” -Alan Dershowitz, currently living
• “Technological progress is likened to an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.” -A Einstein, early 1900’s
• “Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost. Early 2000’s
• “Earth is a family business.” -Bob Mandel, early 2000’s
• “If you’re more than three feet away from a housefly, it can’t see you.” -Boyd (date unknown)
• “The best way to apply fragrance …is to spray it into the air and walk into it.” -Estée Lauder…mis 1900’s
• “If you paint the inside of your chicken coop orange your chickens will lay more eggs.” -Anonymous -old adage
• “The secret of the Demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are as clever as he.” -K. Krause, 1800’s
• “Rich people are just poor people with money.” -Sister Mary Tricky, early 2000’s
• “A home is ruled by the sickest person in it.”  -Nitzberg, late 1900’s
• “If it’s natural to kill, why do men have to go into training to learn how?” -J Baez , early 2000’s

…and Away We Go… (-Jackie Gleason, 1950’s)

I have an idea for a contemporary Detective Thriller.

Here is the pitch:

The location is in sunny Florida, The site is a fabulously luxurious Golf Club, which has all the social amenities: Pools, Spas, a gold festooned dining room, a huge new Ballroom , etc., etc.

The Situation: Many of the World’s richest Billionaires have assembled for a weekend of praising – and dealmaking with – the President of the United States. Imagine, in one building you have the people who control: AI, the EV industry, Chips, the Press, Oil, Bitcoin, Banking, Social Media, etc., etc.

Opening scene:  The Huge Ballroom. Everybody is having a good time of it…Eating off of gold colored plates, drinking the best wines donated from sycophants…and then the President, himself, enters and the crowd erupts into thunderous applause and cheers. The President waves and does his famous dance thing and then sits at a table and promptly falls asleep. The crowd is having such a good time, no one seems to notice the President is taking a nap. Perhaps he is concentrating on starting a war somewhere; perhaps not.

…Slow dissolve and fade.

The screen reads: “The Next Morning”

An elegant buffet breakfast is presented in the huge Ballroom. The Billionaires drift in, all eager to get on with their praising and dealmaking. The President is where he was the night before. ..acting as if he were still sound asleep.

“Oh, My God!” A billionaire shouts. “There is a dead body behind the Omelet table. Someone has shot the Butler”. Most of the room falls silent. The President continues to not move. We focus in on the dead Butler, lying on the ground.  He has a little red hole in his forehead, indicating he has been shot to death.

…Dissolve and Fade…

A very young waitress asks,“Who shot the Butler?” No one seems to care. She pulls out her phone and calls the police. The police said they were not allowed on the President’s grounds…but that she could call the FBI. You could hear the FBI Director’s phone ring, for he is in the room – even though he is not a billionaire, yet, but was a chief Praiser of the President’s. “This is not a Federal Crime,” Says the FBI guy, who does not look like an FBI guy. “Send it to the County.” “it” goes back and forth until a Private Eye (Our hero – in a Barbour raincoat) shows up. (We never explain who pays him…but the audience won’t care because he is not drunk nor does he appear to be a ‘perve’. We’ll call him ”Detective Faulk”.

Faulk introduces himself to the Billionaires and tells them they are not to leave the room until he interviews each one of them. No one has any intentions of leaving anyway; because the President is still in his chair…and everybody knows haw badly the President treats people who leave his presence without his say so. (Also,  the freebies are very good. Even Billionaires like “Free”.)

Our Detective gives a cursory examination of the body and personal effects. Here is what he finds: The dead man was not a Butler; but a reporter in disguise – from one of those lying Financial News Organizations. When ‘the Room’ heard the dead man was a financial reporter they fell into a collective rage and let it be known everyone thought his death was deserved. 

After five hours of interviews, here is what we learned so far: 1) The Billionaire Media Giant who wants to take over Disney actually saw the body first. He did not see the hole in the head and swears he thought the poor fellow was just sleeping and he did not want to bother the crowd…and…Faulk told him not to leave the room. 

2) An Oil magnate had also seen the body on the floor, but thought maybe, he himself, was having an episode of some sort and went and sat next to the President. Faulk told him to “Stay put”. 

3) The only person who could not have done the murder most foul was the President because he has not moved an inch in over 20 hours.  

4) A total of 12 Billionaires had seen the body on the floor; but had varying reasons for not bringing this to anyone’s attention; ie., from not caring, to “let the ‘fellow ’alone’”, to “someone else can take care of this”, etc., etc. 

5) No one can find the young waitress who tried to call the police & FBI. Faulk suspects she was whisked out of the room because she was too young to have been there. He makes a note. 

6) But wait! Someone had put a napkin in the napping President’s hand. It has a spot of blood on it…maybe this napkin was used on the dead reporter’s wound for some reason and was meant to implicate the poor President in the crime. Faulk sends the Napkin out for analysis, while muttering to himself “If the President did this, can he possibly be held accountable? ….for nothing he does as President  can be…” and then he trails off, ending with “my job is merely to find who is guilty…only that.”

…The crowd settles in for more refreshments.

…Dissolve, Fade 

“End of Episode 1”

The Following words scroll across the screen: 

Episode 1 “A Proper Murder” was free. If you enjoyed the show and want to continue, Hit: ’Accept’ and the low, low discount rate of $99 will be charged to your account.  

Episode 2  “Faulk Catches The Killer” will be screening early next week.