Wait A Gol’Darned Minute! Are There New Critters In The Garden? Is This An Invasion?
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW
Einstein said (And I agree with him on this,) that no one, no one, can understand a million of anything.
- Americans spend over $70 billion a year on their pets. (Editor’s Disclosure: I contribute significantly to this outrageous number.) We spend almost as many billions a year on beer, popcorn & potato chips. Now you know where the money goes.
- NONIMILLION: Equals 1,000 times 1 billion, times 1 billion, times 1 billion – and that equals how many microbes of zooplanktons are in the oceans, which are equal in weight to 250 billions of African elephants. You just read that last sentence and it was impossible for you to understand any of it. We speak in millions everyday – and we do not have a clue what we are talking about.
- A BLACK HOLE: A cosmic abyss so dense with matter not even light can escape its gravitational grip. We have discovered A BLACK HOLE which measures 25 billion miles across, which is 10 times the distance from the sun to Neptune. Although I do not understand even a million of anything, this scares the Bejesus out of me. Did you know humans are creating A BLACK HOLE for the fun of it, in Cern, Switzerland? You better believe that the all powerful light sucking thing in Switzerland is going to break loose.
- QUANTUM COMPUTERS: These are faster than your PC. They take advantage of algorithms to break encryptions. This is done by using the strange ability of subatomic particles that exist in more than one state at any time. Duh! I want one – and I want it now. Seriously, no wonder the kids today are scared to leave their rooms what with BLACK HOLES and QUANTUM COMPUTERS coming at them with speeds faster than a NONIMILLION. I don’t know about you – but I’m beginning to think I can’t adapt, anymore.
AND NOW, ON TO LIGHTER FARE
- I read where we are 23rd in ‘Social Spending’ (among Economically Developed Countries). But if you add in Farm subsidies and Military subsidies, and Health subsidies, and tax favored savings accounts – we come in Second. (France is First). Like it or not, we have a Socialist system, at least as far as the rest of the world is concerned.
- There is a man who made a lot of money in the cable game. He is said to own 2.2 million acres out West. There is another man, who inherited an oil fortune. He owns 19 mountains in Colorado. So you can’t say we have completely gone down the Socialist rat-hole. But you can say something seems wrong with all this acquisitiveness. Does a little boy say “I’m going to get me 2.2 million acres when I grow up!” Or “I want 19 mountains when I grow up!” What happened to these men? It is to wonder.
- Americans are more likely to die from drowning in their own bathtubs than from a terrorist attack. Me? I take showers, so I’m really safe. Except for that movie ‘Psycho’ where Ms. Leigh gets stabbed to death in the shower, I’ve never heard of any problems in the shower, except for people falling down in them and then dying because they could not recover from their wounds; but I blame that on the medical system.
- We are allowed to eat Eggs and Butter again. We still can’t smoke. We should drink more than five cups of black coffee every day – if we want to stave off dementia as long as possible. We should move our bodies at least one hour a day. We should get at least 7 hours of sleep if, once again, we want to stave off dementia as long as possible.
- Florida has banned importation of 4 of the larger types of Constrictor Snakes. The mind boggles as to what laws we must write in order to live a decent (Constrictor) free life.
- Businesses are merging. Megamergers are emerging. Everybody who is anybody is gobbling each other up. Something to do with tax free money and something else to do with too much money and no social imagination as to what to do with it. Soon everybody (Corporations being people too) will be owned by the very few. Names will change. I have been thinking about this. If Google merges with Uber, let’s say, it could change its name to Guber…If Facebook takes over Lyft , it could change its name to FaceLyft. Possibilities are many. Monopolies and BusinessGarkies could be fun – for a change.
I have received some comment suggesting I would do better if I tie together all what I have to say into a neater package than I am currently presenting. I would like to do that; but I do not have enough string. And it is hard to tidy everything up when there are a nonimillion things to wonder about and the whole shebang is explode/growing faster than you can say “250 billions of African Elephants”…and besides, if the Universe can’t hold it together, what do you expect from me?
Today the words of the novelist and wit, Gore Vidal, comes to mind; “If. you are not paranoid, you are not aware of the facts.”
Remember: Come home before dark.
(-cem)
