YOU BETTER BELIEVE!

Update on NOTEFLIX’s  “Troubles in the Garden”: While our production crew is in Lockdown – and cannot produce planned episodes, we are making lemonade from lemons by considering this as an opportunity – and asking some of our cast to consider losing some weight – as some of our viewers have told us many in our cast are ‘Over-Stuffed’. (See examples of Over-Stuffed Stuffed Animals above). Of course, we BELIEVE this to be nonsense; but who KNOWS what to BELIEVE  in these abNormal times? (Come back next week to see if  things have returned to ‘Normal’.)

WONDERINGS IN THE ROOM OF WONDER:

Now that things are going to go back to ‘Normal’, I think it is time to think about what was ‘Normal’ in the first place.

  • The way I see it is; there are things you KNOW and things you don’t KNOW; but you don’t KNOW what you don’t KNOW  (I KNOW I don’t KNOW how to work my iPhone and smart tv – but that is not what I’m talking about here) and on top of that there are things you BELIEVE and things you don’t BELIEVE – and all of those ‘things’ are scrambled together and make you (and me) what we think we are.  I have read recently,  the things we BELIEVE are what we want to BELIEVE and the things we do not BELIEVE, we don’t want to BELIEVE.  Some of my most educated friends, for example, do not BELIEVE in Climate Change.  I have concluded this is because they do not want to BELIEVE, because the outcomes are too horrible to contemplate and if man had anything to do with it – then man would have to make too many inconvenient changes to his lifestyle, which would be unacceptable.  So, they have become “Deniers”. Why do I bring this up? (See next paragraph)
  • THE LADY UNDER THE HAIR DRYER:  A friend of mine went to the Hair Salon. While her hair was being done, she could not avoid hearing the words coming from the mouth of the LADY UNDER THE HAIR DRYER.  “I don’t know anybody who has died from the Covid!”  She told her hair dresser. “It’s a Hoax!” she belted out with authority. This is after one of those over 100,000 new Covid cases and a thousand death days.  Now the question is – and this is one of the biggest questions coming up in the next decade: How do you talk to this person?  How do you talk to THE LADY UNDER THE HAIR DRYER and the man who won’t accept Climate Change and have a decent, rational conversation?  How do you remain calm, dignified and gently beat to the ground the other person into realizing the preposterousness of these positions?  When we return to ‘Normal’, many will want to ‘Bridge the Divide’ which has separated us from one another for the past four years, maybe more.  Do we have to compromise?  Would you agree to prosecute every member of the cabal of mad scientists who created this Climate change concept?   Maybe, there really is no Covid and the people who died from whatever it was were going to die anyway.  I cannot wrap my mind around how this bridge is going to work…I see a big drawbridge at best.  If you, the reader can send me the answer – and don’t tell me to pray about it – I’ve done that and the good Lord has remained silent – I will post your sound advice for the benefit of mankind.
  • PROBLEMS OF THE ‘NORMAL’:  a) The waters are rising – and they are full of chemicals & plastics, algae is growing uncontrollably, fish aren’t breeding  in the numbers they used to,  the air is dirty, 1/3rd of the human population is hungry and most Americans are concerned more about their weight than any other issue.
  • More money is spent in America on promoting and advertising food stuffs than is spent on producing them.  Again, 1/3rd of the human population is hungry.
  • Studies show:  Stress is fattening and causes hypertension.  People living in ‘high violence’ areas have more stress and are more over-weight than those who don’t live those places.  Me? I’ve been to some low violence areas and have seen a lot of over-weight people. I wonder if living in safe, comfy areas promotes over-eating.
  • I have read over-eating causes weight gain and over-eating can be fueled by our BELIEVING the promotions and the advertising of ultra processed food (with synthetic flavors & preservatives & added sugars & salts – yum!) Ultra- Processed foods, with all their add-ons, are cheaper than plain organic; how’d that happen?
  • One more problem we’ll find back in the ‘Normal’: Does the melting of the Greenland Sheet scare you?  It does me.  Some say there could be a 20 foot sea rise.  (Though-be-it, pretty clean water)…  And no one is doing anything about it. Oh, there is a child in Denmark who is beating the drum, but we are talking all the time about a guy who was voted out of office and doesn’t want us to BELIEVE it.

And now a few words from our guest columnist, Mathuzala:

MATHUZALA SPEAKS:

  • Your Scientists performed certain experiments on Rats and we now have the ability to fight cancers, we grow back healthy tissues. The Scientists have not figured out how to transfer this benefit to the humans. But, we Rats have become a stronger species, thereby.
  • “For many of your leaders, “Peace” is really undeclared “War”and it is difficult for them to imagine declaring “Victory” during Peace-time, when there is nothing to ‘Win’. So, when ‘Winning’ is the only thing...(Cough, Cough)… your leaders are tempted to declare…”

(This column was cut short.  It was  sent to us via Mathuzala’s Smart Phone Voice Memo and he went into a coughing fit and could not continue.  His cough was caused by smoking unfiltered cigarettes – a habit he picked up while being experimented on by a cabal of Scientists.  You can read more about Mathuzala in the new book: THE RAT PAPERS .  Go to: Amazon…Go to: Books…Go to:  THE RAT PAPERS …buy now, while supplies last!)

Announcement regarding THE TEDDIES: We regret to announce that although all the votes are in, and counted, and most of the lawsuits have been tossed out…we cannot hand out THE TEDDIES  (The Stuffed Animal Actor Awards) at this time. At the present time, all matters relating to the TEDDIES are ‘on hold’. It may seem like no one knows what to do – but we do. You better BELIEVE! (Come back next week for more on this issue.)

A few applicable quotes”

  • “Everybody has to BELIEVE in something.  I BELIEVE I’ll have a drink.” -Dean Martin, Crooner
  •  “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t BELIEVE.  Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.  I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the TannhÃuser Gate.  All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.  Time to die.” -Roy Blatty, Android, (“Blade Runner”)
  • “If you BELIEVE, Clap your hands three times!”  -Tinkerbelle,  Fairy, (“Peter Pan”)

Take care out there,

 

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