Update on NOTEFLIX’s “Troubles in the Garden”: While the filming of our show has been halted due to the Pandemic, we have allowed research to be conducted on members of our cast. Here are some of the results from these studies: 1) If you allow one stuffed animal into the house, you will tend to be invaded by more stuffed animals. 2) Some real life animals which are vicious – are not considered scary when they are in stuffed animal form. 3) Although stuffed animals do not have brains, they are not necessarily any dumber than some humans. (For proof of this, see posting below.)
Lately, I have taken to staring into my iPhone and reading headlines. The Headlines are trying to get me to click onto their related articles. There are newspapers, magazines, podcasts…all sorts of platforms with pieces hoping to get my ‘eyeballs’, and, or, dollars for subscriptions. Here are some articles which give the readers advice on what to do during the Covid slowdown; “Get Up and Move”, “Make Other People Happy”, “No Reason To Eat 3 Meals A Day”, “What You Should Wear To Your Vaccine Appointment”, “Life Changing Chicken Recipes”. I will admit, I am so busy reading Headlines I do not have time to read these exciting articles. To offer a diversion, this posting will be comprised of Headline-type statements, without the time-wasting information follow-ups so much of today’s ‘media’ employs.
BY THE NUMBERS:
- More college students know the names of the Simpsons than they know the rights in the 1st Amendment (Hint: Freedom of Speech, religion assembly – that sort of thing.)
- Over 65% of college Freshman cannot find Iraq or Israel on the map. So what? Our last President did not know India and China shared a border and he became President.
- Over 50% of Americans think “No-Warrant” wire-taps are ok.
- People with dogs lose more weight than people without dogs – and they exercise more, too.
- A man 5’8″ tall is just as successful at getting a date as a 6′ man – if he makes $146,000 or more a year. If he is 5’2′” he has to make more than $277,000. (This note is 8 years old – so, the numbers could have changed with inflation.)
- Americans live shorter lives than the Greeks. American kids are two times as likely to die by age five as Portuguese kids. American women are eleven times more likely to die in childbirth as the Irish. The cost of dying in the U.S. is the highest in the world. (This note is only 5 years old, so the figures are not likely to have changed that much.)
- Before “Covid” there were more slot machines in the U.S. than there were ATMs. We were spending more on the slots than in Ballparks, Theme Parks and movies combined – 38 States used them to help make ends meet. I have not read any update on the slot business.
- More than half of all babies in the U.S. are the result of unintended pregnancies.
- By the age of 23, one third of male Americans have been arrested for something.
- A study shows: It would take 200,000 buses in a convoy 17,000 miles long to take 11,000,000 Mexicans out of the country. (I do have some questions about this: 1) Does this assume all the Mexicans are waiting for the buses in the same location? 2)How far into Mexico do the buses go? or is it just over the border – to Juarez? and 3) Who pays for the gas?
- There is evidence Vitamin D strengthens bones. But studies show people who ingest large quantities of Vitamin D fall 15% more than those who don’t. (This leaves me in a quandary. Do I take the D and have strong bones and risk falling down? I probably should read an entire article on this subject – even though I don’t have the time for it.)
- By 2050 the oceans will have more plastic in them, than fish. We are halfway there today.
NOTES I MADE TEN YEARS AGO AND FORGOT TO THROW AWAY.
- The U.S. and Gabon are the only two countries in the world still doing invasive tests on Chimpanzees – for medical purposes. We say we are going to stop. (My question at the time was: But what if the Gabonese get ahead of us?)
- Texas and Utah have people in political office who talk of secession. They do not want Federal intrusion in their: Schools, roads (infrastructure), Health programs…and such.) My question at the time was: What would happen if the nuts take the majority? I think I’m about to find out.
- The “Chabris-Danial Study Experiment” was all the rage. They took a group of participants and asked them to watch a video of a basketball game and count the number of passes therein. No one noticed the gorilla walk in front of the players. This study concludes, somehow, that we should beware of using the cell-phone while driving. (Me? I’d still like to know how many passes there are in any given basketball game.)
And now a word or two form our guest columnist Mathuzala
MATHUZALA SPEAKS:
“Hear now the great unwanted truth: Humans cannot afford civilization. They cannot even afford to put out their fires. This is not a metaphor. This is a fact. And that is a problem. Chleezk.” Sip. Puff. Blow.
Editors note: Mathuzala had to cut short his column today because of breathing problems, due to his smoking habit – caused by experiments at the Rockefeller Institute. If you are interested in knowing more about Mathuzala and his doings – please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS”.
We will end todays posting with a few unrelated quotes:
- “Nobody thinks highly of a person who has a low opinion of himself.” -Anthony Trollope, British Writer, 1800’s, (But what do they think of a person who thinks he is the highest of the high? What then Anthony?)
- “If you want it to be true – it probably isn’t”. -Pete Hammill, Former editor N.Y. Post. (My question is: Is the obverse true? Does that mean if you don’t want something to be true it probably is? )
- “In skating over thin ice – our safety is in our speed.” – R.W. Emerson, Scholar, mid-late 1800’s.
Thank you for your time this time – until next time…I am yours…
