To demonstrate I have no Hobgoblin in my mind, I am changing the order of the format of this week’s blog. NOTEFLIX’s “Troubles in the Garden” will be presented somewhere near our signing off.
NOTES FROM ABROAD:
- Most mornings, I go to a small caffe in our Piazza and watch some of the world go by. It is tourist season in Tuscany. The Germans and the Dutch seemed to be the largest number of visitors this week. There are some Belgians, some French. I know this because I am developing an ‘ear’ for accents and a keen eye for details. Hardly any of this years tourists speak Italian. They speak English when ordering whatever it is they want. Some of the English sounds American, some British. All this depends upon who their teacher was. There are almost no Americans over here this summer. And they are sorely missed. Missed not only because of the lack of the tourist money they would spend; but also, because Americans are still fondly thought of. However, America is visually represented, every day, by a strange phenomena. Many tourists, from whatever country, wear t-shirts which advertises, or promotes, Americana to some degree. Here is a short sampling of what I read on t-shirts only this week: (Please note: if there is an asterisk [*] in front of the wording, it means the wearer had no idea what the words meant on the t-shirt! The exclamation point [!] means: I saw that Brand-name on more than one t-shirt.) *”THE FIGHTER BRAND”, “THE BOSS OF THE BAR-B-QUE”, *”EVERLAST NEW YORK”, !!! “CALIFORNIA LEVIS”, “BEAR”, “GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS”, *” MIAMI BEACH RAW”, !!!”TOMMY HILLFIGER DENIM USA”, *”DETROIT CAN’T BE BEAT”, *”SOUTHERN TERRITORY – DIVE THE DEEP”* Also, I saw a black dress which had “MANHATTAN” boldly printed in sparkling sequins and then the names of the four other Burroughs, in smaller sparkles – printed below. The lady had never been to the States and did not understand my questions to her. I think she was from Romania. because sometimes her accent was sort of Italian and then it was an accent I never heard from before. A side observation: It seems to me most people here love New York – whether or not they have been there..
- I think you might enjoy a break from what is going on Stateside, please watch a little of what is going on in our Piazza; (There were at least 40 instruments serenading the cars. I cannot explain the “Why” for this; but everything in this world does not have to make sense.)
NEW TO ME:
- “QUARANTUNES”: Popular songs during the quarantine.
- “3RD DOSE”: In the common parlance. Enough said.
- CARS in the near future, are not going to be CARS, per se, they are going to be COMPUTERS that you ride in. They will be safer: No distracted drivers, they see everything coming at them in all directions, they are never drunk, etc. I cannot wait.
- ADS: 5 of the world’s largest tech companies own 50% of global ADS. This news ought to give “MadMen” on Madison Ave. something to drink about. Wait until NETFLIX starts showing you ADS, then you will really go crazy, maybe even think about reading a book again.
- TIKTOK:…has become a bigger app than F/B, MESSENGER & WHATSAPP put together. If you did not know this, where have you been? Sitting in your old fashioned CAR listening to QUARANTUNES?
12 YEAR OLD NOTES, ALMOST FORGOTTEN:
- THE THEORY OF INTERSECTIONS: …this deals with the idea that if you put a MIX of peoples together, you will bring about ground-breaking ideas. The greater the number of ideas, the bigger the crop of good ideas. I think this could be a good idea.
- I’ve noticed some of the people in front of me at the ATM address the device as if it were pinball machine. and some look like they are going to tilt the thing. Also, I’ve seen some men throw away their receipt in anger or contempt. I can’t wait until there are no more ATMs and the cash money and everything else is on my phone in this Block-chain or whatever it is going to be.
- I read we rarely change our behavior because of something we’ve read. This is probably true – except for recipes, of course. We can easily improve the sauce.
- Studies are showing using the internet can affect our memory and we may not be coming down with dementia after all. Watch out if you go to the doctor and he asks you what day it is. Or what city you are in or how to fry an egg. Practice these things before entering the Doctor’s office. But if you do answer these questions and you fail to tell them you turn off of the stove when finished cooking the egg – they may come to take you down. Anyway, the way things are, why do you need to know what day it is, or what city you may be living in?
- 2 ideas, which could have made me a thousand dollars: 1) Remember the Meucinex creature on TV? They should have made a doll out of that . I would have bought one, and there are plenty out there like me. 2)” Terrorism for Dummies” (The Book): But it seems like our Right-Wing Party has already stolen the idea.
- Lobsters are monogamous. Doesn’t this mean if you were to eat one, another one is miserable somewhere? Monogamy is rare in crustaceans and rarer in mammals.
- Nerves have a maximum speed of 180 feet per second. I want to know if nerve speed is affected by heat, which would explain why I’ve slowed down so much lately.
And now a word from MATHUZALA, our guest Columnist:
MATHUZALA SPEAKS:
“You do not know how your phone knows to turn the time back in the Fall. You do not know how your car will take you from here to there without a human driver. You do not know how to light a fire in the dark of night. We rodents do not need to know any of these things. You have much to learn to survive in our new world.”
(Some say MATHUZALA has a ‘Third Eye’. We don’t know anything about this. His column comes to us through some block-chain thing-a-ma-jig. But if you want to know more about him, you should go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and take survival lessons)
A few quotes before we sign off:
- “Higomus Hogomous/ man is monogamous/ Hogomus Higomous/ Man is Polygamous” -Ogdon Nash, Mid 1900’s
- “I can visualize the time when almost every family will have a small plane in their back yard.” -Henry Ford, 1941
- “Most of the sickness in the world’s caused by eating too much.” -Henry Ford, 1943…(This was probably said during the time Mr. Ford was forgetting how to fry an egg; but he sure could build a car that was driven by human drivers)
That’s all there is for now, and “Hello” to Gordon, wherever you are.
Oh, our NOTEFLIX Production’s update:
Let us re-introduce you to the angry, spoiling and intrusive Purple Slug named Bork. Bork is: an Anti-vaxxer and will never take a 1st, or 2nd – let alone 3rd Dose. He is planning on going viral on TIKTOK (which he can do, because he is a member of Generation Z) Bork has been banned for 6 weeks from F/B. He does not quarantine, but enjoys Raptunes. He is Serially Monogomous – not by choice. He has no brain and is all instinct and re-action and would not pass any mental health exam, (like some of our real-live politicians) But he is good at what he does. Bork is the Arch-villain in our show “Troubles in the Garden’ …which we will return to, once we can re-assemble our cast after this Socially Distancing thing is over.
