UPDATE on the doings of the Cast members of our production of “Troubles in the Garden”: In sympathy towards the producers of this post, some of our cast are trying to see what all the “hoo-ha” is about, about learning the language of the region. Of course they do not understand the magnitude of the problem of not picking up a second language; because they speak no language at all  – and they get along just fine – except for Bork, the Angry Purple Slug…he gets along with nobody, no matter what anybody says.


  • (2014) Cellphones:  Studies show, they kill the plaque in mice brains which cause Alzheimers. How come this news has not gone viral?
  • (2014) Genetics:  Another study shows Neanderthals are in our genetic lineage. I always suspected this.   (apparently, the people of the Yoruba and Sandawe tribes escaped the clutches of the Neanderthal, which explains why they are so different from the rest of us.)
  • (2012) Ineternets, Tubes & Things:  A single lap-top in ’09 had more computer power than the entire Moon Project. In 2012, the iPhone had 16 times the capabilities of the Moon Landing Project. All I want is a hand held device which can get me through JFK, or Dulles, without any hassle. How hard would that be to invent?  (Please note: I am not asking for a product sponsored by the NRA)
  • (2016)  Eyelashes:  Allergen,  is going to sell a drug which will grow eyelashes longer – for $120 a month. 1) Allergen got a tax write-off for researching this drug. 2) I wonder what the eyelashes looked like on the mice they experimented on.
  • (2015)  Boredom:  Studies show: If people are bored, some of them will kill themselves, or someone else.  At the time I read this I thought what with the caliber of movies, tv sitcoms, game shows, and celebrity offerings – we were heading for a lot of trouble. But have you seen the NEWS lately? Or seen what’s been going on over that past 4 or 5 years? The good news is: killings by Boredom should be going down drastically.
  • Pharmaceuticals:  Remember in movie “The Graduate”, when the older man said to Dustin Hoffman,”Plastics! Young man” ? What he was saying was “Plastics” was the industry to get into, if you wanted to make it big.  Well, today the word would be “Pharmaceuticals”.  The drug industry has been paying the highest salaries in the country for the past 6 years. High Tech, Genetics, Big Pharma…the only thing (to me) exciting (not boring) about working in these industries is the High Pay.
  • (2008) Good news!  A New Law: Meat renderers can no longer accept dead animals for use in pet foods. cosmetics and toothpaste. (I actually read this in the papers.) Don’t say things are not getting better.
  • Swapflation: In a past posting I mentioned Shrinkflation, where the food producers are putting less product in the package…and now comes Swapflation where the producer is changing the ingredients in the box – to maintain profit margins.



  • FOOD is a major topic of interest over here.  And recipes.  A story: I have a friend in Ohio, named Charlie. Many years ago, Charlie created a steak sauce. This steak sauce is the best you ever had.  If you went to Charlie’s  house and had a steak or a burger from his grill and you said you liked his sauce, he would give you a quart-sized bottle that you could take home and enjoy – for free.  This is a form of Generosity. Over here in Tuscany, the way to compliment somebody on their food is, to say “Yes” to take ‘Seconds’, if offered. But the real compliment is to ask for the Recipe. And they always give you the recipe  – for free.  And they thank you for asking.  This is a different form of Generosity. Charlie will die with the secret to his sauce.  I imagine him clutching a bottle of it in his coffin, while his many friends stand around, sobbing for one reason or another.  Charlie will probably never speak to me again for telling you this true story.
  • LANGUAGE is a problem over here – because they speak Italian.  If I had created this world I would have allowed only English; but, that was not the case.  However, there is an advantage to not being understood by the locals.  Because I do not speak their tongue, they have no idea what I think about; the out of control, crying baby jammed next to me in the caffe, or the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers, birth control, Texas, Mushrooms, the former U.S. President, their former President, and so on.  It’s possible some people here  think I’m just a nice foreigner having a coffee and am too dumb to be able to speak their language.  Also, to be fair, it is probably a good thing I do not know what they think of these things – and we are all getting along for now. My wife, on the other hand, wants us to learn this language.  She thinks we would ‘fit in better’ if we did.  And so, we are taking excruciating Italian lessons, which might destroy my cover.  I will report on this as the experiment continues.


  • In your past mythologies your ‘Wise-man’ was not preceded by his wealth.  He lived on the mountain top, he walked the beach…maybe lived in a cave. Today, for many of you, your ‘Wise-man’ is something else.
  • U.S., India, China …Power grids failing. Workers at the Pentagon asked to stop watching porn while on duty. Your Courts are packed with cases arguing whether it is legal to lie or not.  We see big problems on the horizon, unless WE take control.

Ed. Note: Were you to want more from Mathuzala  – and know his story – please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and get a better understanding of all things great and small.


And now a few quotes:

  • “But she’d be a whole lot prettier/if she smiled once in a while/’cause even her smile/looks like a frown/
    she’s seen her share of devils/in this angel town
    But, everything’s gonna be all right/
    rockabye, rockabye
    everything’s gonna be all right
    rockabye, rockabye, rockabye.”  -Shawn Mullins, “Lullaby”
  • “Everything will be alright in the end, so if it is not alright – it is not the end.”
      -Deborah Moggach, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
  • “Happy Talk/ Keep talking’ Happy Talk” – Rogers & Hammerstein, 1949, “South Pacific”


Take care out there…and ‘Hello’ to Schatzi, wherever you are.

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