Update on NOTEFLIX’s “Troubles in the Garden”: We know why the caged bird warbles. See here, our new character, Henrietta, the Venetian Choco-bird, freshly shipped in to be a member of our cast. She is so cute you could just eat her. And that is her problem. And yours too. We hope to include Henrietta in many of our future action scenes; but first, she must survive the upcoming Easter festivities.
- TP: Americans are hoarding toilet paper again – and rightly so. I read, back when China was not yet industrialized, that when they developed a middle class and then started to use toilet paper the way Americans do…well, there would hardly be any trees left…”Can’t see the trees, for the forests – are cut down” sort of thing. So, here we are and the Chinese have discovered toilet paper and, now, with the onslaught of the Covid, hoarding wars have begun…This also has something to do with Covid lockdowns in Shanghai (28,000,000 people) and other big Chinese cities, all of which have now introduced toilets to their citizenry and people panicking about whether they will have enough toilet paper when they need it. In the States: Costco is limiting sales. ‘Bloomberg’ calls it a “Supply Chain Hell”. The ‘Times’ has called it a “Disaster”. So now you know all you need to know about this; Load up. Two-ply, One ply – it does not matter. Get what you can for the sake of your family.
- STUDIES SHOW: *12% of Americans do not know what a molecule is. I know what molecules are; but I don’t believe in them. Somebody ought to do a study on how many American Congresspeople know what a ‘Person’ is, let alone a molecule. Me? I am still having trouble with this idea that Corporations are people, too. A good thing about being a Corporation is if you commit a crime you can pay a fine without having to admit to guilt…(Oh, and your taxes are lower too.) *Almost 20% of Americans think the sun goes around the earth. And 50% think we lived in the time of Dinosaurs. (I’m not making this up.) Of 34 countries interviewed on the subject, only the Turks had fewer people believing in Evolution than the Americans. (Sometimes I think we should not let certain people vote – take away the ‘drop boxes’ and limit the time the non-evolutionists can stand in line. Come to think of it, I just realized Dinosaurs are people too – and I don’t think they should be allowed to vote. God forgive me.) * The Bible Belt has the highest divorce rate in the U.S. Soon that will end because everybody in ‘The Belt’ will be divorced who wants to be divorced and there won’t be anybody left to divorce – and the divorce rate will go down and happy family life will return to the Bible Belt once again.. (Point of Interest: “The term Bible Belt was created by H.L. Mencken…and was originally “the Bible and Hookworm Belt”.) * Border Control is the biggest law enforcement agency in the U.S. * ‘Big Pharma’ spends more dollars on Marketing than on developing drugs. * The average American adult eats 3,770 calories a day…More than the intake of citizens in any other country. We win. * For over five years, Goldman Sachs has been sending its Executives home in hybrid cars – in deference to environmental concerns. (Corporate people can be good to people, too.)
And now a few words from MATHUZALA, our rodent guest columnist:
- “Are you having a good time of it? We are. (We Rats) Our only concern is you Humans might cause so much damage to the earth that the good times for all of us might come to an end. In this regard, I have devised a plan which will let the ‘Good Times’ continue to roll.”
-ed. note: if you want to know how MATHUZALA plans to secure our future, please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” …and let the Good Times roll.
NOTES FROM TUSCANY:
- In the past few days we have noticed several groups of Americans coming to our little town. A woman with a sister and three grown daughters from Kansas. Five women from Oregon – all related to each other. And so on. We ventured forth and asked why there were no men in their gatherings. Their general answer was; Their men do not like to travel, especially “out of the country”. Some of their men liked to hunt, to fish, to watch sports on tv, to stay put, and – besides it is embarrassing not to be understood by foreigners who can’t speak American. It is a “Why travel, we’re here?” sort of thing. Oddly, the women seemed to be having a good time. We will keep you posted if we determine this becomes a serious trend.
A quote or two before we close for the week:
- “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana, American philosopher (1863-1952) So, now we not only have to know what has happened in the past; but we are supposed to know what is going on right now? This is becoming too much! …and now the best of all I’ve read in many a week:
- “I understand now that I am not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that when someone asks why I cry so often I say for the same reason I laugh so often – because I am paying attention.” – Glennon Doyle Milton
That’s it for now…and “Hello” to Chas-Bo…We know where you are.