I did not write this post. I do not know who did – and if I did know who did, I would turn him in, if asked. And this is not a photo of me.
CHECK YOUR VOCABULARY TO SEE IF YOU COULD QUALIFY TO GET INTO A FULLY FUND-FROZEN ELITE UNIVERSITY:
- HOME GROWN: 1) Mushrooms you cultivate, which would be illegal to sell, but are ok in the comfort of your home. 2) Children who are educated at home and grow up not knowing other children. 3) U.S. People who turn bad (maybe taking too many mushrooms and such) who get tattoos and join South American gangs.
- FEAR GAUGE 1) A new multiple action triple gauge shotgun, favored by some Texas School Teachers and Congressmen. 2) A new RomCom Produced by Weinstein and starring Mel Gibson & Kanye. 3) VIX, also known as ‘The Volatility Index’, which hit over 30 last week – record highs – and sent the ‘Markets’ into deep negative territory. You want to see the FEAR GAUGE go high? Wait ’til the ‘Tariffs’ kick in.
- RAPID UNSCHEDULED DISASSEMBLY: 1) This is when you shake the sticks out of the ‘Pick Up Sticks’ box because you don’t have any money to go to the ballgame. 2) This is what happens to you when the border guard asks you what you think of the President of the U.S. 3) These are the accidentst Musk is willing to put up with – with his cars and rocket ships because the sooner something goes wrong, the sooner he can fix it…he thinks.
- FEAR MONGERING: 1 & 2) Something not done in today’s America…what with all the guns to protect us and all the bad gang members being deported…no need to monger fear anymore; especially since we are getting rid of all the rapists and gang members. 3) general announcements from the White House.
- TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME: 1, 2 & 3) A chronic disease which has afflicted admirers and detractors of Trump as well as Trump himself.
- TARIFF: 1) A Tax cut. – which will bring manufacturing and jobs back home. 2) A fine on imports levied against nations which are screwing America. 3) A Tax to be paid on a particular class of imports.
(Test Results: #3 is the most correct in all cases; but all answers are somewhat correct according to your political point of view. Do not worry if you cannot get into a Fund-Frozen Elite University – there will be plenty of good factory jobs available for you as soon as the Tariffs kick in.)
Quote:
- “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” – Kurt Vonnegut (Kurt did not know the third of it. True (Deranged, Highly Fear Guaged & Mongered,) ) terror is when your third graders are running the show.)
That’s it for the week and “Hello” to Patrick, the Gelato eater, wherever you are.
