ArtOficial Unintelligence (AU)…please note: AU is also the chemical symbol for Gold.
I have studied all the speeches and everything the President has ever said and put the data into my specially designed (and patented) cloud based computerized system – the result of which is I can answer any question anyone might ask the President and come up – immediately – with how he would have answered the question if he had been there to answer it himself. If the President were to use my system he could spend more time on his Golf Courses or at UFC matches and do less stressful activities like answering questions about Flood Deaths,The Big Beautiful Bill and such. Below are a few examples of my AU work:
1) First Reporter: “Do you think the cutting back of support for our Scientists and various Scientific studies on Health, weather, Pollution, weaponry…things like those…is good for America?”
1a) The President: “Who are you with? Probably the Fake News people. I think that is a nasty question…but let me tell you I took a science class in High School and I know more about Science than anybody…and we don’t need any more of it because what we need is more Oil and Beautiful Clean Coal…have you ever seen a coal mine? Probably not…they are really dark down there and cool…so cool you need a sweater…but when you come out and see the light of day and you are in America and America reminds me of my little place in Florida where I have so many friends…you know they really like me in Florida …Next?”
2) Second Reporter: “In your Campaign you said you would end the Russian/Ukraine War on day one…it has been over a hundred days and the conflict rages…how do you account for that?”
2a) The President: “Who are you with? Probably NBC or one of those liars. You know I’m suing them don’t you? And then you’ll be out of a job. As for Ukraine, I’m not happy with my friend Vlad, but Zelensky…you know he showed up in my office without wearing a suit and tie…Rude…Bibi was was here yesterday, well dressed, and nominated me for the Peace Prize…How good is that? I’m giving him all the money he wants so he can clean out Gaza and restore their beautiful beaches – they are so nice on the water, those beaches…Sleepy Joe Biden never thought of that did he? All he ever thought of was that laptop crime thing. …Next?”
More examples next week…
And a ‘Shout out” to Mark, wherever you sing…
