YOU CAN FOOL 38% OF THE PEOPLE MOST OF THE TIME

Update on NOTEFLIX’s ‘Troubles in the Garden”: All production of our Series & Episodes have been halted, due to the incarceration of the Cast’s creatures. Good stuffed animals, along with the bad, have been pulled away from their (nonviolent) protest – and treated horribly. Onlookers weep and are shocked by the sight. What can be done? Who cares? (See more action, next week.)

Responding to popular demand, most of this posting is dedicated to quotations from personages who have spoken to the very same matters with which we are concerned today.

  • “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”  -John F. Kennedy
  • “A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion.  A woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.”  -Gloria Steinem
  • “All the laws in the world won’t stop one man with a gun.”  -Det. Lt. Mike Stone, “The Streets of San Francisco”
  • “Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions.  Conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.”  -Mort Sahl
  • “When a President does it, then it is not illegal.”  -Richard M. Nixon
  • “Never give up; and never, under any circumstances, no matter what – never face the facts.’  -Ruth Gordon  (I thought she was a ‘Sex-guide’ I did not know she was a political advisor)
  • “There are some people that if they don’t know, you can’t tell ’em.”  -Louie Armstrong
  • “A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”  -George Bernard Shaw
  • “The Income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.”  -Will Rogers
  • “The world is a madhouse, so it’s only right that it is patrolled by armed idiots.”  -Brendon Behan
  • “If the rich could hire people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.”  – Jewish Proverb
  • “Nonviolence is a flop.  The only bigger flop is violence.”  -Joan Baez
  • “Nonviolence is fine as long as it works.”  -Malcolm X
  • “No more good must be attempted than the public can bear.”   -Thomas Jefferson
  • “Being head of state is an extremely thankless job.”  -Bakassa, former emperor of the Central African Republic, while on trial for infanticide, cannibalism and torture.  (It’s not so “Thankless” if you get to hide your taxes, fill your hotel rooms, and make multi-million dollar contracts for your family)
  • “People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented wealthy, internationally famous genius.”  (I bet you thought this was said by our President…it was:   -Jerry Lewis, Comedian and Movie Clown)
  • “If only one man can save the nation, then the nation is not worth saving.”         -John Dewey
  • “A conservative is a man who does not think anything should be done for the first time.”  -Frank Vanderslip (Father of the American Banking system)
  • “It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. ” Winston Churchill  (Thanks for the ‘Attaboy’ Winnie)
  • “Life is short.  Live it up.”  -Nikita Khruschev

We will now go straight to our guest columnist Mathuzala, the Wise.  Please note the opinions Mathuzala expresses are not necessarily our own.

Mathuzala Speaks:

  • You people are throwing out 40% of your food – and by the looks of you, you should be throwing out more.  You discovered agricultural processes over 6,000 years ago – and yet you do not know how to ration your eating.
  • The Arctic Pole is turning into a big Slushee.  The last time this happened was 5 million years ago when Mars started to go dry because of what humans did to that planet, then.
  • All low hanging fruit in the Garden is gone.  The branches are broken, not pruned.  The fruit turns rotten before it ripens.  …and your big questions are:  Who is going to play quarter-back for the Rams this year?
  • Apparently, it is too costly to do the ‘right thing’ right now.  Later, maybe.  Too costly to fix the Oil & Gas emissions, to fix your pollution problems, your water systems…what is good for you is not good for your economy – and vice-versa…Humans can no longer be in charge.  For their own sake we…

(This column was cut short by our editor in Chief.  We will not support such wild ruminations on our site – without further scrutiny.)

See you next week,

Remember! The TEDDIES (The Stuffed Animal Awards) are coming. There might be a delay in the voting because of problems beyond our control (the Lock-up of all the candidates nominated for awards. See photo above). Also, we most likely will have to determine who wins what, ourselves, because there seems to be a break-down in the voting system. We have heard many subscribers are trying to vote  more than twice – and that could be against the rules. In fact it might be better if our editor-in-chief makes all the award winning decisions, he being a stable genius and all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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