EVERY DAY HAS BECOME CASUAL DAY. WHERE TO FROM HERE?

Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”:   Ezmiralda, The Hairy Pig Qween of the Land of Stuffed Animals, has sent a selfie to some members of our cast – who are looking on, enviously, of the good time she is having elsewhere – wherever that is. (Come back next week for more action.)

NOW THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, WE CAN GET BACK TO ADDRESSING OUR PREVIOUS CONCERNS

LIGHTENING ROUND, (No.1 of 2021):

• A study reveals people with messy kitchens overeat 40% more than clean kitchen people.  I wonder if there could be a ‘Clean Kitchen’ diet coming on the market.
• Another study (out of France) shows a child boosts a parent’s level of happiness – for about 12 months.
• Yet another study claims the drunker bar patrons become, the more attractive they consider themselves to be…and more intelligent and funny, as well.  I would like to find a study which tells me how I can apply for money to do studies like the ones above.
• There is a theory which espouses the Super Rich could become a new separate Species. Are we saying “The Super Rich will always be among us”? 
• Congress has passed a budget raising military/Defense/anti-terrorism $s and will cut spending “Elsewhere”.  Where is “Elsewhere”?  You do not want to be “Elsewhere”.
• A report states the sperm count in China has dropped as much as 80% since 1970.  This sounds alarming; but maybe it was too high in the 70’s.
• In Hong Kong the bricks in the pavement are glued down so protestors cannot easily pick them up and throw them.  This seems like problem solving at its best. I wonder what glue they use. 
• Electro-shock therapy gadgets are now available for home use.  Is this a good idea?  Do people use it on their children after the first 12 months?  Do people use it on themselves to help them in calling up a word or a name of a movie star or the like?  
• If you don’t want a B.S. or a B.A. you can now go to a “Bomb Disposal School” and get a degree.  And the jobs pay well.  Me?  I would like to dig into  “Cryptozoology”…the study  of  “…creatures believed to exist but not yet proven”.   It sounds fun and is not dangerous.  The study of “Richozoology”, however, could get you in trouble with the powers that be.
• Speaking of degrees and education:  I have read  many interested parties are considering cutting college down to 3 years.  “Since the Revolutionary War”, my notes tell me,  “the idea of our higher education was to…teach to analyze, and to think critically for the purpose to participate in Civic Life.”   I wonder what is going to get eliminated in the shorter period.  Here is a listing of No-collar, no Ed Necessary, Hard Skill, well paying jobs: Cloud Computing, Data Mining, Data Storage, User Inter-face, National Security Expertise, Smart Phone App-work.  Here is a list of Soft Skills which used to be important, but are not necessary to land Hard Skill jobs:  Communication skills, Curiosity, Teamwork, Adaptability, Empathy, Open-mindedness.  It is getting tough out there.  I hope there is a job somewhere which will let me contemplate whether the Sphinx or the Unicorn exists, or ever existed.
• I see in an ad there is a chemical in jellyfish which improves short term memory in humans.   I remember getting stung by a jellyfish over fifty years ago.  So, that jellyfish chemical works on long term memory as well. 
• A personal observation:  I have noticed everybody is talking on the phone to somebody  other than the person they are with.  Is everybody with the wrong person?  This can’t be, because when they take pictures of themselves, they are smiling crazily and sending the photos to the people they are not with.  I have also noticed people smile more when their photos are being taken than at any other time.  Who knows what all this means and where it will lead?

And now a few words from our guest columnist MATHUZALA:

MATHUZALA SPEAKS:

Your Mega Corporations enjoy the privileges of the  ‘Divine right of Kings’: No accountability and maximizing the return on money is of greater importance than producing a ‘good’ for the people. Soon, all wealth will have powered up to the top one tenth of one per-cent.  If we could change all that for you would not that be ‘good’?

Of course, Mathuzala, the answer is:  NO!  No thank you.  Leave us to our own devices, please.   (Were the reader to be interested in the doings of MATHUZALA and his cohorts, go to: Amazon and buy “THE RAT PAPERS”.)

And now a few irrelevant quotes:

• “The forces against the Environment are invulnerable; but you must fight them.” -Muir,  (Fighting the good fight, heroically, against all odds is reminiscent of Wagners, “The Ring Cycle”.)
• “The Music of Wagner is better than it sounds.” -Attributed to Gore Vidal
• “What poor education I have received has been gained in the University of life.”  -Horatio Bottomly
• “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” -Derek Bok

Thank you for your time, this time. until next time,

Update on the situation with the TEDDDIE AWARD CEREMONY:  The votes are in and counted; but there are bad forces out there which want to stop the fun.  Who knows when things will return to normal and we can give our prizes to the rightful winners?  There are some, which are enjoying the Disturbances. (see Bork, the Angry Purple Slug – on Big Bear’s left paw.)  All onlookers are horrified at the situation.  Perhaps next week, the powers of Open-mindedness, Teamwork, and Adaptability will have helped us return to normal.

C. E. Metzger

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