IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME…

NOTEFLIX PRODUCTIONS ANNOUNCES: QUIZZ # 2: After reading the post (below), can you guess how the picture (above)  relates to what you have just read? (See answer at bottom of this posting.)

THINGS I’VE READ RECENTLY, WHICH YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE:

• TWEETS are going into the Library of Congress.  How can this be?  Whose TWEETS?  And Who are the Deciders?  The Library of Congress is the largest library in the world.  “…Its collections are universal, not limited by subject, format, or national boundary, and include research materials from all parts of the world and in more than 450 languages.”  How does one access TWEET information and find the TWEETS one wants to find? Is there a chance this Blog will be in the Library? Or will there be a separate library for the Blogs?
• A study shows there are more people in England who watch birds than who play golf and tennis combined.  What does this mean? And how do they count the people who watch birds and play golf and play tennis? How many of those are there?
• One in thirty-three women in America who regularly attend church services have been targeted by sexual advances from their ministers.  2/3rds of those ministers are/were married at the time of the targeting.  A questionnaire on this subject implies that at least a quarter of the congregations’ members were comforted to think that “At least their ministers are not ‘Gay'”.
• SCRAMS:  An acronym for: Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitors. These are ankle bracelets, which are placed on you, while on parole.  They can tell if you have been drinking and not complying with the rules…it is less expensive than putting you in jail and you have the option of going to jail or paying $12 a day to wear one.  I think the court might find this to be a possible money maker…like traffic ticket quotas…and soon you will see a lot of people wearing ankle bracelets.  You can see where this is headed.
• TASER:  Speaking of acronyms, Thomas A. Smith’s Electric Rifle.  I think this guy is not getting the recognition he deserves.
• I overheard a man at the next table say he read a statistic which said,  “The average person swallows many bugs in his lifetime….You know, open mouth sleeping and all.”   I am glad there are real conversations going on and not everybody is just TWEETING all the time.
• I read ‘Forever Chemicals’ are in everybody on the planet and they are reducing our sperm count to the point where we will not be able to populate the earth with people anymore. Creatures of the future will be able to go to the Library of Congress and learn how we came to our unhappy end.
• I see an ad on my Instagram account which asks the question whether or not you can retire on only $1,000,000.  I am afraid to click on the ad and find out I will have to do something drastic if I want to go quietly into the night.
• Here are the titles to two articles which I did not read this past week – and I sort of wish I had:  1) “How to Plant Kitchen Scraps”  2) “Why Are There So Many Flavors of Potato Chips?”
• Here is an Idea (Mine):  A new book “Tweaking Your Algorithms for Dummies.”  Have you noticed if you search for the price of an airline ticket to go somewhere (say, to Paris)…that the next time you search, the price to Paris has gone up, huge?  That’s because the Algorithm knows you want to buy a ticket and they have you in their target sites.  Or have you played a song on one of those internet music platforms and been offered the chance to hit the “Thumbs Down” circle if you do not like the song?  Are you afraid to hit the ‘Thumbs Down” because you suspect the Algorithm thinks you hate the singer, when all you hated was the song?  Or you like the song; but not the version. (i.e. I like “Folsom Prison”; but I do not like Waylon Jenning’s version; but I like Waylon Jennings)  Or, are you afraid to Google QAnon because you are afraid the Algorithm will think you are a candidate for crazed conspiracies? Or some political party will flood you with requests for donations?  All you have to do is buy my forthcoming ”Tweaking Your Algorithms For Dummies.”

And now a few words from our guest columnist, MATHUZALA:

MATHUZALA SPEAKS:

“Trust No One.  Not Even Yourself”

The above line was excerpted from Chapter 16 of “THE RAT PAPERS”. If you want to know how Mathuzala came to this piece of wisdom you could buy the book by going to Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

A few thought provoking quotes which may help you get through the day:

• “Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you are doing.” -Peyton Manning. NFL, QB, Great
• “If you sit by the river long enough, you will see all your enemies float by.” – General Xang
• “The trouble with a ‘Melting Pot’ is:  The scum tends to rise to the top and those at the bottom get burned.” -W. Buckley, Conservative thinker
• “Don’t tax you.  Don’t tax me.  Tax the fellow behind the tree.” -Anonymous

So long, for now…

(Answer to quizz at top of post.) You are correct if you understand our Algorithms  have counted YOU as a Stuffed Bird Watcher. Also, you are more correct if you divined Stuffed Birds do not TWEET (or make any sound) and, therefor, they will not be entered into the Library of Congress. So, this might be the only chance you have to learn from them. We do not know how Bork, the Angry Purple Slug slithered his way into the photo.

C. E. Metzger

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