SOMETHING FOR ALMOST EVERYBODY

Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: On ‘Break’ many of our cast have gathered together to watch movies which are concerned with Guns. Maybe they will make a ‘Dusk ’til Dawn’ quadruple feature of it. They are interested to find out what all the ‘Hoo-hah’ about them is. There is much to choose from and they do not know where to start – Stuffed Animals not having any use for GUNS themselves. Wait until they see “Guns of Navarone, or “Have Gun Will Travel, or Gunsmoke”…Good times ahead.

SOME OLD NOTES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ‘THE VIRUS’:

• STUDY:  55% of Americans spend more than they make and 55% say they have ‘Favorable Circumstances’.  (That 5% who spend more than they make and have ‘Favorable Circumstances’ must be borrowing from relatives who have even more ‘Favorable Circumstances.”)
• ANOTHER STUDY:  3 in 5 Americans adults are taking prescription drugs.  (And then some more are ‘Drinking” and then some more are taking”illegal drugs”  All this explains a lot about why we do all the irrational things we do in airplanes, grocery stores and in the general traffic of life.)
• YET ANOTHER STUDY…shows 75% of antibiotics in America go into the animal feed part of the food chain.  Mixing the animals and the antibiotics  generates (upon occasion) Super Bugs, the problem of which is only getting worse.  (Why not try eating the animal feed ourselves? … by-passing the animal part of the equation and avoiding theSuper Bugs…Add a little Catsup or Worcestershire to the feed and Voila!  Problem solved.
• AND ANOTHER…: A study shows the South has the highest Obesity rates and Montana has the lowest (Is this because it is hard to get food up  there?  Come to think of it, Montana has one of the highest Gun-per-capita rates in the country…so, they can get guns up there. I’m surprised they don’t go out and shoot more food.  Maybe they’ve already shot everything that can be eaten and that’s why they’re so thin.
• THE LAST STUDY OF THIS POST:  I read one which says the  Boomers are “Touch my French Fries, feel my fork” kind of people.  And the Millennials are known to be ‘Food Sharers’ types of People.  “My plate is your plate” kind of folk…Studies on the Gen-Xers and Gen-Zers and their food divvying behaviors are, hopefully, underway.
• FRENCH FRIES:  Speaking of FRENCH FRIES; an important finding shows 33% of cars on the road have at least one FRENCH FRY in them.  (This is in the ‘Lower 48’, of course)…and the same article says 37% of Americans would rather clean a toilet than change their passwords.  (It must be difficult trying to think up something to do a ‘Study” on these days – what with everything worth writing about having already been written.)
• INTERNATIONAL TRADE:  China has refused to import a lot of our pork products because some of our producers add Ractopamine – a food additive – to the meat.  The downturn in pork exports is such a problem that many of our producers have stopped injecting Ractopamine into their pork.  Who do the Chinese think they are, telling us we can’t eat Ractopamine?  So much for American Exceptionalism. Only a few years ago, the Chinese were known to eat cats and dogs..and now they won’t swallow Ractopomine?  How times have changed!
• GUNS (4 year old note:) 1 child killed by a GUN every other day. GUNS don’t kill children People with GUNS kill children.
• MORE ON GUNS (Current note):  There is more than one GUN owned, per person, in the U.S…(393,000,000).  We are 4% of the world’s population and own 40% of civilian GUNS in the world.  65% of GUN owners say they own guns for ‘Protection’.  They do not say ‘Protection’ from what.  GUNS were a big ‘gift’ item this past Holiday Season so the final count may be higher than the one printed above.
• MORE GUNS (old note, 2014):  2,200 loaded guns were confiscated at airports  in 2014.  OOOPS, New Note on MORE GUNS:  Over 5,700 GUNS were confiscated at U.S. airports in 2021….85% were loaded.  This is an all time record, despite a 25% drop in passenger traffic, due to Covid. (Regarding this paragraph, my Editor said “Make Funny” – but I cannot find the humor in this – at least by Deadline.)
• NEWS ALERT! THIS JUST CAME IN:  One afternoon last week an internet news service posted an article about the possibility of a war with Russia over Ukraine and another article about a Girl Scout Cookie shortage problem.  The Girl Scout Cookie shortage story got more clicks than did the one about  the possibility of Ukraine and the War With Russia.  (Imagine the number of clicks there would have been,  if there had been a FRENCH FRY  shortage in the U.S.)

And now a word from MATHUZALA, our Guest Rodent Columnist:MATHUZALA SPEAKS:

• “All these studies you do on each other and who gets to eat how much of whatever and all the guns you carry around to ‘protect’ yourselves from one another…We Rats have none of that.  We make the best of what there is and generally have a good time of it.  You should consider changing your ways…We can teach you how to enjoy your lives…”

It looks like MATHUZALA is about to proselytize, which is against our posting rules…so, we will cut him off at this point.  However, if you want to know more about MATHUZALA and his work, go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS”…and see, in full, what MATHUZALA has to say.

A NOTE FROM TUSCANY:

• Going where Angels fear to tread: Italian Politics. Today marks the beginning of the election process for the President of Italy. Berlusconi; Brief Resume: Age 84. Girlfriend 50 years younger. Media tycoon, Former, (3 time) Prime minister, convicted of Tax Fraud…(sentenced for 4 years and pardoned with ‘Community Service’), Well known for “Bunga- Bunga” parties (whatever they are; but reputed to include ‘under-age’ girls), Tax Reduction of business is his ‘Big Issue’…Considered to be the ‘Far Right’ image of the country…Do not bet against this man. (Does this bring to mind anybody else, anywhere else?)

A quote, or two

• “Reading is the greatest of all joys. but there is more anger than joy in reading about what has happened.  But, after all, there is pleasure in such anger.” -Chang Ch’ao , mid-Seventeenth Century.

Or, on a lighter note:

• “A woman without a man, is like a fish without a bicycle”  -G. Steinam- late-Twentieth Century.

C. E. Metzger

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