Update on NOTEFLIX’s Production of “Troubles in the Garden”: During an extended break, our cast has assembled to show our readership that, in fact, there are NO Troubles in the Garden. Zero. They are quite happy. Troubles are a figment of the Producers and of man in general, they think, or would think – if stuffed animals could think at all.
SELF RATING: This posting is a Three Minute Read, if you read 600 words a minute. …uses 5th grade grammatical English (2 grades higher than the average speeches of our previous President) and employs Collegiate Vocabulary (12 grades higher than #45’s. …Has Zero Pinocchio’s.
ITEMS TO GET YOU IN THE KNOW:
- PERNICIOUS POLARIZATION (PP): DEFINED: “…when a society is split into mutually distrustful ‘Us vs. Them’ camps …is not attributable to any specific underlying social or political cleavage nor any particular institutional make-up. Instead, PERNICIOUS POLARIZATION arises when political entrepreneurs pursue their political objectives by using polarizing strategies, such as mobilizing voters with divisive, demonizing discourse and exploiting existing grievances,” (This is a fancy term for describing the the social attitude, down on the ground in America today. If you were to use this term at a social gathering, your confreres would be impressed – even though they may not like what you said.)
- CREDIT CARDS: 40% of Americans do not know what their credit card interest rate is, which is 16.3% on average ….going up to 17%. The typical outstanding balance is about $5,900. If you were to pay only the minimum monthly required, you’d pay $6,500 in interest…and it would take you 16 years…(The word PERNICIOUS comes to mind.)
- ENDEMICITY – a fancy epidemiological word that basically means COVID is becoming part of our everyday lives. (You could use that word at the same social gathering where you used PERNICIOUS POLARIZATION and the Anti-Vaxxers at the party would throw you out of the room. No big deal. Why would you want to socialize with them anyway? You’ve already been POLARIZED.
- RESIMERCIAL: …A designer’s term which merges residential and commercial elements into a single unique creation. RESIMERCIAL office furniture brings the comfort of home into the workplace – and vice-versa – to promote a more relaxed, collaborative, and productive environment. (You now can use this term to describe your newly redecorated home office spaces. But beware of wearing your expandable sweatpants while lounging on the home/office couch and seeking remote work during a ZOOM interview.)
- ACTIVISION BLIZZARD: In case you did not know ACTIVISION BLIZZARD (is a company – not a name for a Slushy) just sold itself to Microsoft for the biggest CASH payday in the history of man – $68.7 Billion, CASH. Some of our readers have not even heard of ACTIVISION BLIZZARD who make “Guitar Hero”, “Diablo”, “HeXen”, “Crush” and other games you might have played, or never heard of. They have 390 million monthly users and say they are going for a billion. (And why not?) Leave the party you are attending, go down to the basement and play whatever games the young ones are sitting in front of – and join the action. Forget about all this ENDEMICITY and PERNICIOUS POLORIZATION nonsense – there is a whole, exciting, virtual world out/in there.
- HOLD THE PHONE: I read an article which stated there is no good way to hold your smart phone for long periods of time without injuring your hand or finger muscles. – to say nothing about your wrist. Whichever way you hold it, it is going to hurt you in the long run. The best solution so far, is to get in the habit of switching the holding position every few minutes. Generally, this Blog does not offer health tips; but we thought you would like to know this particular bit of information because you might be reading this on your phone and hurting yourself. …One last health tip coming up:
- THE BEST SLEEPING POSITION: They did a study in England, and came to the conclusion the best of all Sleep Positions is “The Dreamer”…this is a semi-fetal, on your side, lying position. The study also debunks the theory that the “Soldier” position, lying on your back, is good for you. The Soldier can be bad for your: neck, liver, and lower back if you stay in it too long. Other positions you can assume – but not stay in for extended periods of time are: “The Hedge Hog” and “The Wrestler”. The Brits do not stay in only one position all night; but the “Dreamer” is not only the healthiest – it is also their favorite. Soon, I hope, the Americans will come out with their own answer to what the best sleep positions are for us. Ours have different names: “The Hurdler”, “The Jump Shot”, “The Spoon”, to name a few. There were two published offerings this week I could not read, no matter how long this ENDEMICITY thing is going on: #1) There was an article which headlined the earth’s core is rapidly cooling. I assume this is terrible news and I do not have the strength of character to Look It Up. and #2) There was an article which asked the question: “Why Are Rich People Smoking Toad Venom?”. Poor me, I had no idea Toads even had venom that you could smoke.
There is more, much more in the news, such as: Train Robberies are back in vogue and so is Toilet Paper Hoarding but we’ll have to catch up on all that next week.
And now a word from our guest rodent Columnist MATHUZALA:
- As some of you know, I often roam the Cloud, because it is so interesting up there. One of the truths I have uncovered in the Virtual Nebulae is: Most of your problems are Man-Made…and some of your leaders think the solving of these problems is a profit making opportunity….thus, their position is: “Problems are a good thing”. This thought process is crazy. Come, watch how we behave. We do not make problems.
Were you to want more from MATHUZALA, you could go to Amazon, or Barnes & Noble, and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and learn, in depth, what our rodent sage has to offer.
Notes from Tuscany:
CHOCOLATES FOR WINTER:
- Here, in Tuscany, during the winter, they take the Gelato out of the display cases and fill the cases with Chocolates. No more Gelato until late March. That is the rule. You can get all the Chocolates you want until then. Well, that is not exactly true, because, as you see in the picture above, the only chocolates that are left in this counter are Orange Covered Chocolate Rinds. If you wanted a greater selection, you would have to get there before noon.
- “I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. -Tom Lehrer, Singer, Songwriter, Satirist
- “It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he does not want to hear.” -Dick Cavett
So long, for now…and “Hello” to Stan, wherever you are…
(To our readers: If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to a friend of like mind. If you think this post will bother your polar opposite – feel free to forward it to her, or him, as well. Thanks.)