Update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: Two members of our cast, The Multicolored Bluebird of Happiness and Mamzelle Pinkie, have actually become fond of each other (A common occurrence among movie stars) and have flown off for a night of smooching. We are lucky they are filming on location in Tuscany, for if they were in Florida, or Texas – the viewing of such inter-textile activity might be banned – especially to pre-teens. More on the subject of this type of behavior is discussed in the post below.
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(This posting is less than a two minute read: unless you take some extra time to ponder over what has been written.)
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- ILLEGAL MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: The U.S. Nickel has a Dime’s worth of nickel in it, according to today’s metal market. If you collected 20,000,000 Nickels and melted them down and sold the melted pile you would make a million dollar profit. I think it might be illegal to do that – but there are worse ways to try to make a living.
- MAYBE A LEGAL WAY TO MAKE MILLIONS: You know this ‘Bitcoin’ craze? (Short update: 18 to 34 year old males are more likely to invest in Bitcoins than any other age group. 66% of these young investors are trading/”holding” them. {6 months or longer}. Those who ‘hold’ are called ‘HODLERS’ because of a typo made by a trader on an online forum. Female investors almost never buy Bitcoins. Bitcoins are still considered: Energy costly, good for laundering dirty money and hard to regulate.) Here is the idea: Create “BITCOINBONDS”. Better yet, BITCOINS that promise DIVIDENDS (“BITCOINDIVVIES”). No one really understands these things, so by the time the digital “BITCOINBONDS” or the “BITCOINDIVVIES” you issued are due to pay off – you will be long gone and on your own island. I want 10% in real dollars for this idea.
- POLLS SHOW: Only 60% of Young Republicans think Climate Change is real and that humans have had something to do with it. And only 88% of Young Democrats think Climate Change is real and humans have had something to do with it. When I am President, I am going to tell the people, “Climate Change is real and humans have had everything to do with it – and if you disagree you will be fined, or sent to a re-indoctrination camp.”
- A STUDY SHOWS: Mosquitos are attracted to the colors RED and ORANGE, in that order. So when you go out, go out dressed accordingly. Remember where you read this information and hit the ‘Like’ button on this post.
- HEADLINE: I saw an ad for an article in a magazine on “How to keep Friends”. It costs $99 to subscribe and then you will be able to read how to keep your friends. I wonder if any of my friends will lend me the $99 so I can keep them.
- NEW TURNS OF PHRASE: “CALORIE CURTAIN”. Remember the “Iron Curtain”? This is a variant of that…only now certain food products are not flowing across the Russian border, anymore. Mickey Dee, Coke, Pepsi and the fried chicken people have asked themselves, “Should I stay, or should I go” and a lot of them have opted to leave – in what is being called the great “MOSCOUT”.
And now a peek at what is happening with our resident rodent Guest Columnist MATHUZALA who is headlining at the R-PAC (Rodent Political Action Committee) meeting in the third underground cellar at the Plaza Hotel. (The meeting having been moved from the subway, because it was too dangerous down there with humans all over the place.)
MATHUZALA giving his acceptance speech at the R-PAC as the new head of the RAT MOVEMENT to save the world.:
- “Thank you for the honor bestowed upon me. I pledge to work hard on the behalf of all creatures, even those who are not rodents. The first thing we must do…” buzz, crackle…(-ed. note: It appears MATHUZALA’S microphone was cut by a bad actor. It might have been done by some anti-progressive (human) living in the residential apartments up above in the Plaza Hotel. We will resume with MATHUZALA’S address next week – when the Rats will have everything under control.
Were you to want to know more about MATHUZALA, or how to join his cause, please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy the book “THE RAT PAPERS” and become part of the Movement.
A NOTE FROM TUSCANY:
- There are a few changes in the local behavior due to Covid – for example, ‘Before Covid’ the Italians would kiss each other (“Baci”‘ in Italian) – twice, once on each cheek when greeting or saying “Hello”. This has stopped. We do not know if the change is permanent. Mid-Western Americans, though there are few here, are much relieved – as they feel uncomfortable participating in such displays of intimacy.
Two quotes:
- “Patriotism is the last refuge of a Scoundrel.” -Samuel Johnson
- “You’ll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.” -George Bernard Shaw
That’s all I can do this week…and a “Hello” to Jon Aldridge – wherever you are.
