Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: It is a lovely late spring day in Tuscany. Gentle breezes. Soft sun. …A day for lazying about. So much lazying about, we are not able to force our Stuffed Animals to stop loafing around  and get their act together …and do what they are supposed to do to move our plot along. If this continues into the summer months, we will have to hire real live actors to tell our story. It seems nobody wants to work anymore – whether they be: Live, Stuffed, Virtual, or Whatever. Producing this show on schedule – and on budget – has become difficult.



  • GAMES PEOPLE PLAY:  You think you have fun watching brain concussing Football, or spine cracking Kickboxing…you should take some time off and go to Columbia and watch some: TEJA.  This is a game where you throw a pipe-shaped thing at a bowl of some sort..Good so far?  A chief characteristic of the sport is its use of small, exploding targets that contain gunpowder known as “mechas”.  If I understand it clearly , if someone throws something with some degree of skill, the “mechas”explode loudly creating a sound similar to the one created by a small revolver upon firing.  It is difficult to explain the pleasures of this game to those who have not seen it.  Hardy drinking of alcoholic beverages helps increase enthusiasm and a sense of understanding of the game altogether.  Imagine incorporating explosives into our national pastimes.  There could be an idea here.
  • TIGERS like to attack people from the back. This explains why, in parts of India, people wear masks on the back of their necks. And you rarely hear of people who wear masks on the back of there necks getting attacked by tigers, so this must work.  I have read most people who get attacked are first approached from the back…Perhaps there is a business here where we could sell masks for people to wear on the back of their necks. Maybe we’d start off with a small store selling back of the neck masks for Americans and exploding footballs.  If it works, we are talking Franchise.
  • TOP GUN:  When the movie came out (1986) the Navy saw an increase of 6x’s the usual sign-ups.  The new enrollment figures after the release of TOP GUN – MAVERICK have not yet been released.  Do you think today’s youth are any:  1) smarter than the youth of yesteryear?  2) more or less Patriotic?  3) will girls sign-up outside the theaters in the same numbers as boys, since they can do everything boys can do?  We wait for facts to appear.
  • OXYMORONS I have come across in recent readings: 1) “Old News”…some Jan 6th denier was referring to the events of Jan 6th) and called it “Old News” I think the idea of the 6th being “Old News” is “New News” 2) “Pretty Ugly” …said by a participant in the riot of the 6th regretting the fact that he had been there. You can’t be Pretty and Ugly at the same time.  3) “Civil War”…this term was mentioned in many reports of the 6th. What happened may have been a form of War; but it was not Civil. 4) ‘I… “Clearly Misunderstood…”‘…This was cited as a defense for what a Defendant thought the former President wanted him to do on the 6th.   5) Fox News  – an OXYMORON all by itself.  Speaking of FOX, Mr. Murdoch is known for saying “CONTENT IS KING” – which, in his case, was sort of  between OXYMORONIC and a “False Truth”.
  • BIG TRIVIA (A new, homemade OXYMORON):  * Cruise ships emit larger carbon footprints, (mile for mile – and nautical mile for nautical mile) than do Airplanes, SUV’s & Trucks   *60% of all living mammals are livestock.  Americans eat 274 pounds of meat a year – more than anybody else on earth.  Australia is a distant 2nd and Argentina is way back in 3rd.  Americans are now reported to be the most over-weight people of any country in the U.N.  First Prize was a Whopper.

We could go on and on…but we are running out of our word allotment for the week.  So, here is a quick comment from MATHUZALA our Resident Rodent guest Columnist:

MATHUZALA SPEAKS:  “Imagine what you humans could do if you all got together and did it.  You could fix the Climate situation.  You could stop killing each other.  It would take some imagining, but you could do it.  If you don’t…but I am not here to speak negatively…”

(Ed. note: If you want to know what MATHUZALA and his pack are imagining – and doing – go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS”.


We live in a small Tuscan town…Old Stone buildings surrounded by: Hills, Vineyards, Forests…all under Blue Skies …White Fluffy Clouds for days, that sort of thing. In the summer-time we have quite a few cultural events in our little Piazza. See, below, what you missed by being where you were.







A few quotes:

  • “Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.”
  • “Common sense is not a gift.  It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.”
  • “I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing.  Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what’s going on.”
  • “If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.”   All of the above quotes were sent to us from a friend, who asks to remain ‘Anonymous’…as he was the former Mayor of Gates Mills and does not wish to have his “Know Nothing/Do Nothing” reputation tarnished.

That’s all there is …And a fond ‘Hello” to Charles, wherever you are.


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