Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: We were about to shoot a scene where Mamzelle Pinkie was going to whisper a sweet little nothing in the Multicolored Bluebird of Happiness’s ear…but Big Sis came onto the site, hogged the frame and ruined our shot. To be fair, Big Sis has been a little disgruntled during the holiday season; she does not understand why she has to wear those Reindeer horns…and neither do we. (Come back next week for more action)
A good movie pitch can be made in under two minutes. See example below:
- A MOVIE PITCH: ( I want to show this PITCH to Netflix or Amazon or anybody with loose money – and put this movie on a screen near you.) A former President of the United States is in a maximum security prison. He is enraged that this could have happened to him and is acting like a psychotic narcissist; but he has a plan to escape; but it’ll cost real money; but he can raise that. Remember those digitized trading cards that people bought for $99? Well, The Number One Prisoner is asking all those people who will believe in anything he says or does to put together a team of Super-Prison-Break specialists to help him escape. He could crowdfund this . …Maybe this would be a three Season, many Episode blockbuster, come to think of it. Season 1: Show Prisoner Number One frothing about in his cell. Assemble a team of Proud, Super Hero, Prison-Break-Specialists – people who look like the ones who invaded the Capitol building a while ago. Show Prisoner Number One create clever money raising schemes from Solitary. This can be done by showing him babbling ideas out in a constant stream – almost as if he we not thinking. (Can you imagine the ratings?) New hats, bottles of scotch whiskey, trading cards, et al. Hey, maybe an on-line charity casino even. Why not? Season 2: Actually show how many millions of dollars the Former President, but now Prisoner Number One, raises through these schemes. Then show the team of Super-Bad heroes enter the prison, much to the dismay of the prison guards. (You could research the costumes the rioters wore for the Jan. 6th demonstration for period style inspiration here.) Have them kill a few guards and other people and grab Prisoner Number One and we go to Season #3) We will take polls to see what our audience really wants us to do with Prisoner Number One. Working Titles: “One Flew Into The Cuckoo’s Nest”, “Citizen Con”, “Raging Bull#@*(Bleep)”. The opportunities are endless!
- I have concluded from looking at photos that places where women carry large buckets and baskets on their heads are not good places for women to live in. But if the women leave, who is going to carry those buckets around?
- Studies reveal: *Most fish cannot see outside their fishbowl. Does this seem like a metaphor for other creatures as well? *Male rats almost never get cancer. (But they are in big trouble now because we are going to kill them, for scientific study purposes, to figure out how they do this.) *The frog and the boiling water theory has been disproven. The frog, once it realizes the water is getting hot will jump out of the water. The human and the boiling water theory is still being considered, however.
- Einstein once said that if the bees left the planet, man would have 4 years to live. Well, apparently, in the past few years 1/3 of the bees are gone…Stop playing Wordle and do the Math.
- As I read it, here is a list of problems, in order of importance, concerning many ‘Upper Middle Class’ Americans: 1) Migration 2) Climate Change 3) Trump; Should he stay, or should he go? 4) How to get firm seat assignments on flights where you have to change aircraft.
CORRECTION: It has been pointed out to me by a reader, that I erred when I wrote …”As I recall, Einstein did not play an instrument.”…The truth of the matter is Einstein did fiddle with the violin.. ” I apologize for this and meant no harm. What I should have said was that I recalled Einstein did not play an instrument well.
PUBLISHERS NOTE: Last week was the 260th consecutive week (5 years) of postings of this blog. I hope to continue for another 260 or so…unless I find myself dodging taxes on a tropical island because of my newly found success in the movie business.
A few words from MATHUZALA, our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist
- By the time you read this Dominick will have been broken out of jail and the authorities will not know the How or the Who or the Why Dominic was even ever there. We will have eaten all the records regarding his so called ‘treasonous’ behavior and he will be living safely, once more, in his apartment at the Plaza hotel with his love, the Eloise Impersonator.”
-Ed. note: If you want to know about the How, the Who and the Why of things and who is ‘The Eloise Impersonator’- go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS”
A Note from Tuscany:
It is Christmas Day in Tuscany, as I write. Very quiet in the piazza. Everybody is eating at somebody else’s place. Everybody has taken flowers to give to the people who are going to give them dinner. The ‘Christmas Season’ will last through January 6th, the day of the Epiphany. I have asked some of the locals if they make New Year’s Resolutions – like we do back in the States – and they did not know what I was talking about. Of course, my inability to speak the language may have had something to do with their answer.
A Quote or two:
- “Rosebud” …This was the last word “Citizen Kane” uttered. Very few knew what it meant up until the very end. We could have our Number One Prisoner say “Covfeve”, or something like that…as he utters his last words.
- “I hope I can make it across the border.” -‘Red’ (Morgan Freeman) in “Shawshank Redemption”. We could have our “Prisoner Number One” say…”I hope I can make it to Mar-A-Lago.”
That’s it for this time, until next time…and a fond “Hello” to …. Stefano R., wherever you are, and whatever instrument you are playing.