Update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: Our cast has assembled for this photo-op to wish you a “Happy New Year”. And why not?  There are so many wild tales going around and so many people believing them – why not believe that a few stuffed animals can wish you well?  Where is the harm? 


(Two minute read, if you can read 400 words a minute)


  • I have seen several shows about food lately.  Also, I have been reading the food articles in the papers…just trying to get away from all these current events – which are so scary.  One thing I have learned is: A lot of our best and favorite dishes come from the fact that meat, for instance was often rancid, or past it’s prime, and to deal with that…well, the French invented a lot of tasty sauces.  And so did the Italians and the Indians and so on.  The Royalty, the One Per Centers of the day, got all the good stuff and everybody else had to cover up the rotting meat, or tastelsss grains with spices and onions and stuff, if I have it right.  I mean, have you ever eaten ‘Ribollita’? An Italian bread soup, boiled and re-boiled with maybe seven different veggies swimming around in it.  Peasant food, yes; but mmmgood!  Why do I go into this?  Well, it has occurred to me what with Climate change, Water shortages, International trade sanctions, Shipping problems, crop failures, increases in world population and more…there will be food shortages of a magnitude never seen before; especially ‘Good food’ shortages for the masses.   If history repeats, then man’s reaction to this will be to make whatever is available even more exciting than you could imagine.  Move over Mambu Thai.  We may resort to eating dirt; but it will taste good!  See what I mean about “GOOD NEWS FROM BAD NEWS”


  • I have a theory.  That guy who won his Congressional Seat in NY State – the one who told many lies about his schooling, his employment record and his financial dealings. That one.  Recently, it’s been revealed he has misspent many thousands of dollars from his campaign on himself.  (One dinner cost over $14,000 – not Mar a Lago numbers; but still…) Here’s my theory: He never was in it to win.  I think he figured on Election eve he would give a nice concession speech …and nobody would look into whatever it was he had been doing.  And he could go quietly into the night.  But no. He won.  And now the investigations are underway.  This is an example of BAD NEWS FROM GOOD NEWS.  Also, it debunks the bromide that ‘Winning is Everything’ – because sometimes winning is not what it’s cracked up to be.


  • More than once, I have seen  a lone, lonely shoe stranded in a parking lot, or along a pathway.  One shoe.  And when I see this I wonder how a person can lose only one shoe.  Am I alone in this? Anyway, I am reporting this is not a problem spawned by modern Man.  The oldest shoe in the world was found in Armenia.  It is 5500 years old and it was preserved by sheep dung.  It was a left shoe.  The woman must have stepped in sheep poop and it got sucked off of her foot.  She probably hopped the rest of her way home.  There: One single lost shoe explained.  How this happens in our present day parking lots is still a mystery.


The column from our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist MATHUZALA will not appear this week.  He is the keynote speaker at the RATPAC meeting held annually in the third sub-basement of the Plaza Hotel.  The working title for his speech is: “How we will take control of human civilization – in order to save our planet.” (This is not a controversial subject for the attendees.) The meeting will host hundreds of thousands of rats and several cadres of Human Chumpers.  “Red” the Trans Rat, Female Human, (or whatever she is) will be the Mistress of Ceremonies. (FYI: “Red” is a key character in the book pictured below.)

Were you to want to know how your world is going to be dramatically altered, please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy a copy, or more, of the (non) Best-Seller “THE RAT PAPERS” – while supplies last.


A Note From Tuscany:

It is New Years Day as I write this.  I ordered a Coffee with a little cream. And this is what I got – and a kiss on the cheeks from my barista.

A quote: “What’s the use of worrying?/ It never was worthwhile,/ So, pack up your troubles in an old kit bag,/ and smile, smile, smile.” -George Asaf. British Songwriter

That’s it from here this week.  Until next week…and a fond “Hello” to  Alice…wherever you are.

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