THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS IS WHERE?

UPDATE on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”:  As you know, Ezmiralda the Hairy Pig Qween of the Land of Stuffed Animals (see photo lower right) is refusing to give up her Crown…and this has caused quite a stir (See rest of photo)…Half our cast is rioting in favor of her keeping her rule.  Half wants to hold honest and fair elections for a new leader.  The other other half does not have a clue as to what is going on.  Bork the Angry Purple Slug (See him next to Ezmiralda) thinks he can take advantage of the situation.  Our heroic loving couple, The Multicolored Bluebird of Happiness and Mamzelle Pinkie are nowhere to be found  – as this scene does not lend itself to nice things.

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ODDS & ENDS:

• MUSIC TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY:  I read that ‘They’ (‘They’ being the U.S. Army) played “I Taught The Law” (-Jethro Tull) and “You Shook Me all Night Long” (-AC/DC)…at deafening levels for hours on end to drive Noriega out of his mind and ease him out of Panama (Operation “Nifty Package”).  Even though this was a successful operation, we have improved our Driving Insane music skills in Guantanamo by playing Meatloaf and Aerosmith until nobody can keep secrets anymore.  This must be one of the explanations of why we cannot close the place down.
• INFLATION, OR PRICE GOUGING?:  The cost of a ticket to fly to outer-space on Virgin Galactic has gone from $250,000 last year – to $450,000 this year.  I hear if you have not already booked your seat, you are too late already.
• HACK TO RETURN:  (You may have trouble understanding this one; but it does not mean you are stupid).  Here goes: A little while ago, ‘Someone’ Hacked (aka ‘Stole’) $9 million from a Crypto account…the Crypto exchange people put a $1.7 million Bounty on the theft and the ‘Someone’ who stole the Crypto returned it – minus the $1.7 million Bounty, of course – and that is the end of that.
• WARNING:  I read in a medical study that if you have trouble  understanding what people are saying it might be the sign of an oncoming heart attack.  If this is so, it means I have had an oncoming heart attack for more than the last 4 years.
• DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH:  It has been determined eating a whole human, on average, is equivalent to consuming 125,ooo calories.  Thighs have the most calories, coming in at 13,300 per.  Knowing this supports the theory that all knowledge is not necessary.
• PERSONAL OBSERVATION:  I have been writing and editing now for several years and I have noticed it is easier for me to see someone else’s mistakes than it is to see my own.  1) Why is that? 2) Is this true with other people, as well? or is it only me?  3) Does this trait contribute to the “The Problem” of Mankind?
• SLAVERY:  I read that in Texas some people on the school board are hoping to eliminate the word “SLAVERY” from school textbooks…and replace the concept (when necessary) with “Involuntary Relocation”.  It has not yet been determined when a young Texan will be old enough to even learn about “Involuntary Relocation”. Me?  I’m way long out of school age – and I’m still too tender to grasp the idea of “Involuntary Relocation”, let alone SLAVERY – whether it existed in Texas, or not.

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Enough of my Notes – and now a few words from MATHUZALA, our Rodent Resident Guest Columnist:

MATHUZALA SPEAKS:

• I have noticed many of your leaders do not want to “Do the right thing right now because it could lead to going down a slippery slope…”; but not doing the right thing, right now – like not addressing your Climate Change problems, because of costs, or political gamesmanship, is taking you down the slipperiest slope of them all, and all of you will crash into each other at the bottom of the heap.  It is a possibility.

-Ed. note: If you want to know how to take charge and “do the right thing, right now’ – go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and stop sliding downhill.

Notes From Tuscany

• You see me in that picture above? If I were to look up and over the flowers I would see what you see in the picture below: The restaurant Verrazano. (See terrace center of photo) The Verrazano is both a restaurant and a place for weary travelers to spend the night – as they make their way down to Sienna, or up to Florence. It has been in business since the 1300’s. The food is very good. They certainly have had the time to get the act together. N.B.: This town is so small, the proprietor knows who has been there, and who has not. We go there every once in a while to be on the safe side.

And a quote:

• “The law is for protection of the people.  Rules are Rules and that is plain to see..We don’t need no riddle speaking prophets – scarin’ decent folk like you and me. No Siree” -K. Kristofferson, Song, circa 1970 AD
• “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself.”  -Cicero, circa 40 BC

That’s it from here, for now and a fond “Hello” to  Richard, wherever you are.

C. E. Metzger

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