*Correct answer to above Trick Quiz: Could be 1, 2 0r 3 – either way, the other people in the bar should clear out.
-Less than a 3 minute read, if you do not move your finger under the lines and your lips don’t move as you go along and you read 400 words a minute.
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Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: The Race is on! The polls show it is ‘Nose to Nose. Mordumur, the Stupid yet power grabbing whatever he is, is even with Qween Ezmiralda, the Hairy Pig leader of the Land of Stuffed Animals. Somehow Bork, the Angry Purple Slug has insinuated himself into the picture. We do not know what that means. The White Bear, who is supposed to be the Master of the vote counting seems to be falling asleep at the switch…And, wait! Is that Mamzelle Pinkie? Is she throwing her beak into the moil? What next? Come back next week for more action.
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THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW AND MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW; BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW – UNLESS YOU ARE TOLD BY YOUR PHYSICIAN YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY
- FISH: Bad news for fish. Remember a few years ago when the Japanese were catching all the whales? And everybody pretty much put an end to that? And remember a few years back all those Russian Trawlers off the U.S. coast taking all our fish and sending them back to Russia and parts unknown? Well, the Chinese have discovered they like to eat fish, too, and they have outdone everybody else altogether. They have over 3,000 deep water fisheries and are encroaching on territorial waters with their huge trawlers off South America, Japan, Africa and who knows where else. They are, right now, sucking up the fish off the Galapagos. Nothing in the waters are safe. (Solution?: The Chinese only spends about 1/3rd the amount on Defense that we do. They could re-allocate some more of their money to Defense and spend less on catching fish and…and at least the fish might be better off. It’s an idea…What have you come up with?
- THE SOCRATIC METHOD: I read that Socrates (the Philosopher and Wrestling champion) was interested in and questioned the ‘Intelligent’ and the ‘Thinkers’. Me? I’m not saying I am any Socrates, but…I think we should be interested in and question the ‘Stupid’. So you don’t get me wrong, when I say ‘Stupid’ I am referring the the QAnoners and Conspiracy Theorists, not the people like me who simply did not get good grades in school.
- GIANTS: I also read the Norse believed there would be a battle in Asgard/Valhalla and the Gods would war against the Giants …and the Gods would lose in heroic effort. I wonder what happens when the Giants take over? Or has it happened already, and is this it? (My Editor says I should make this funny; but that is easier to say than to do.)
- SCHOOLS: It is reported 1/2 of our nation’s schools have teacher and staff shortages. I have a partial solution to this problem. Remember when you were in the 7th grade and you were told to understand there are ‘Rational’ and ‘Irrational’ numbers? and you never could figure out what on earth they were talking about? I looked it up: “An irrational number is a real number that cannot be expressed as a ratio of integers; for example, √2 is an irrational number.” Rational numbers do not make any more sense, believe me….Anyway, I say we stop teaching about these numbers, they won’t help you get a job today, anyway. Trig could go also. Put me on a school board and we’d save, save, save.
- “HOW MANY ANGELS CAN DANCE ON THE HEAD OF A PIN?”: Good question. It is said the City of Constantinople fell to the Ottoman Turks in 1453…while the City’s scholars and Elites were debating this very question. It seems to me we humans are repeating ourselves in a way in that we are debating parallel type questions: “Is there really Climate Change?””Does man have anything to do with it?” …”How many Climate Change Deniers can dance to the tune of the QAnon theme song?” “Does taxing the wealthy really do any good for society?” “Don’t ‘Trickle Down policies work in the long run?” “How many Devils voted with Absentee ballots?’…and meanwhile nobody pays attention to anything and the Democracy degrades, and the weather continues to throb and jolt and, by the way, the answer to the question is: Zero Angels can dance on the head of a pin.
- THE OLD SHOE: The oldest leather shoe was found in Armenia. It is 5,500 years old. It was preserved in sheep dung. A left shoe. I have always wondered how one can only lose one shoe. Every once in a while you come across one shoe in a parking lot, or on a sidewalk, or on a sheeps path. Now we know people have been losing one shoe for over 5,000 years. In this case, I suppose the person stepped into some sheep poop and the shoe got stuck in it so he or she had to hop all the way home on the other foot. Some things never change.
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And now our column from MATHUZALA, our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist:
MATHUZALA SPEAKS: I will quote Benedict, a human hero, who is presently locked up in one of your prisons – but who will soon be released. “Murder in the name of War…leads to Big War…with Nuclear tailings…Rats and their RATPACS do not want us to poison the nest or blow the whole place up. We need to go back to our prehistoric lives…a post-Apocalyptic world without the Apocalypse. I can live with that…” (See page 37 of the book featured below)
Ed.Note: Please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy and read the (non) Best-Seller “THE RAT PAPERS” and see what MATHAUZALA and his cohorts are up to, for our own good.
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Notes From Tuscany:
You have heard “Everybody talks about the weather; but nobody does anything about it.” Here in Tuscany everybody talks about the food – and everybody eats all of it they can. It can be a good thing. Below, is a photo of a local seasonal treat; “Sciacciatta Con Uva” a cakey- bread thing, baked and stuffed with nuts and recently harvested grapes from the local vineyards. Hmmm good. It has been raining for the past few days; but they say it is going to clear up tomorrow. What can you do?
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A quote:
- “If God does not punish America, he’ll have to apologize to Sodom & Gomorrah.” -Ruth Graham, daughter of Billy Graham. -Ed.note…This quote was uttered long before the 2016 elections, “Jan 6th,” and the prominence of Satan worshippers as exposed by QAnon and its followers. We now have been punished enough for our wicked ways.
That’s all we can give this week and a fond “Hello” to Jason, wherever you are.
