WANTED!: MATHUZALA, our Rodent Resident Guest Columnist is still missing. Last seen, he was on his way to NYC to confront the Rat Czarina. Since his absence, it has been noticed the Subways have come almost to a halt and the temperature down there is scary warm. Millions of rodents have come above ground in protest. The fact the Rat Czarina has refused to meet with him might have something to do with all this. Rumors abound. Some say MATHUZALA and his rebellious crew are about to lay siege to the Rockefeller Institute – which as you know is famous for having conducted many atrocious ‘Experiments’ on rats. Anyway, hopefully, the writer’s strike will end soon and we can get back to our production of “Troubles in the Garden”.
SCATTERSHOTS: (Topics in the news which you might have missed while pursuing the ‘Big Stories’)
- A way to avoid a pandemic is to Interbreed populations. They have found this approach works with rabbits in Australia. My guess is this problem solving approach will not take hold in the U.S. in that we do not like to interbreed when we are told we have to. So we are going to have to keep our distance from each other and continue to wear masks when the next pandemic comes around.
- The Earth has shifted its tilt recently and scientists are blaming it on the fact we have used up so much ‘Ground Water’ and have changed where water is and isn’t – something like that. At the same time, health people are saying we should drink more water than we do. However, if everybody drank what they should, we’d consume 216 billion ounces a day…and my take on this is: If we did that, the Earth is going to tilt even more and pretty soon we’ll be going around the sun upside down. Maybe we already are.
- The debate rages: Who eats more eggs in a year? The Japanese or the Mexicans? They both eat about one egg every day…with the Paraguayans coming in close behind. Questions need be asked to see who is the real winner here. Do they eat Large or Xtra large? Cage free? Or what?…and how long are they to be boiled? And then I’d like the winner to tell me how to remove the shell easily. How should they be stored? Chilled? I hope these egg eaters speak English, for there is much to learn.
- The Answer is: 48 milliseconds. Can you guess the question? The Question is: How long does it take to execute an order on the New York Stock Exchange? There are other questions to be asked in this regard: 1) What is the rush? (The answer to that relates to “Time is Money”) 2) If Time is Money, why don’t they stay open around the clock? If it is work they don’t want to do, because it is so fast and furious down there on the Floor of the Exchange, why don’t they hire immigrants, or children to do it – like they’re doing in the Fast Food industry?
Since there is no Column this week from MATHUZALA, we thought we’d show you this photo of the Tuscan hills. Something to help take the worries off your mind.
A Quote or three:
- I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by 4 o’clock. ~Henny Youngman
- “Time is an illusion.” –
That’s it for this week and a fond ‘Hello” to Sebastiano, wherever you are.