Update on NOTEFLIX’s “Troubles in the Garden”: While members of our cast are lolling around – waiting for the TEDDIES to be announced, (See below for more on this subject) Some of them have gone over to a pile of books to see what all the fuss over these strange objects is about. Of course, Stuffed Animals cannot read, so they do not know where to look and what to do with them. Granted, this looks more like a ‘photo-op’ than a learning jaunt; but they are in the entertainment business, first and foremost. All in all, they had a good time of it, however, and are not the worse for wear from all the knowledge they did not gain from the experience. (Come back next week for more action)
MUCH ADO ABOUT SOMETHING:
- I have noticed, in the Obits, Movie Stars get longer write-ups than WW11 and Vietnam Heroes…the real life soldiers in the death marches in Bataan and the ace fighter pilots and the tunnel diggers get less coverage than the celebs who portray them. (We are a weird species.)
- There is a lady who died who made a full 1/3rd page Obit in the papers because she made life sized sculptures out of butter. (See italicized comment above)
- I have been doing more reading lately than before – and I was happy to see a report claiming reading is good for you. The report also said it is good for your memory, at least that is what I think I remember it saying – my memory being what it is. Then, however, I read another report which claimed drinking alcohol is good for you. And another one which told me eggs were not good for you – and another that told me eggs are good for me. Same conflicting reports on butter and coffee. It is difficult to know which reports you should read or believe. The more I read the less I certain I am of anything; but I know if I did not read what I do – I would know less than nothing – which is where I was when I came out of the shell.
- Although we have the highest in GDP per capita in the world, we are; #19 in Psychological Prosperity (whatever that is), #16 in Closest idea of Best Possible Life, #26 in Positive Feelings (joy, laughter – those sorts of things). You have to go to places like India, Ghana, and Tanzania for worse rankings – but their GDP isn’t near as good as ours so, stay put because you do not want to move to Norway – which is way highest on the charts.
- The U.S. is the 2nd largest market for illegal wildlife products – after China; but they are bigger than we are, after all. I do not know if this fact makes us higher or lower in the ‘Positive Feelings’ scale.
- I see where College students are not buying books anymore. What about Dental students? Don’t they have to buy books? Books with pictures of cavities and all the numbered teeth, and gum diseases – so they know what they are looking at when I come around?
- I’ll tell you the trouble with not buying books: It ends up in the dumbing down of us. 64% of Americans cannot name the three branches of government. I’ll bet at least half that number did not buy books in school. Look at this: 44% do not know who controls Congress – actually, you can count me in that 44% crowd, because the answer to that question is not in the books I’ve read.
- I read in Virginia they are thinking of passing a regulation where prison guards cannot restrain pregnant women with waist chains anymore. (Some say the Liberals in that state are going crazy with power.)
- Big Pharma knows every time they spend $1000 on advertising a new pill, they get 24 new patients. 35% of Americans over 60 take 5 or more pills a day…(Pill popping has doubled since 1999. Those chemicals go through our bodies and into the rivers and lakes. Do not eat the fish, if you are not sick.) Big Pharma spends 25% of its revenues on Advertising – 13% on R&D. My prediction is: When the For Profit Competitive Vaccines come out for the Covid19-Virus…there will be nothing but Big Pharma ads on TV, FaceBook and the like. Do not worry about the Advertising business fall-off after the political elections…there will be a huge pick-up in ads for the new and better than ever Vaccines.
- Distraction causes 58% of Teenager driving accidents. (So much for multi-tasking skills).
- There is a Stroke every 40 seconds in the U.S. – and many of them are while the Strokee is in a car – behind the wheel…add drunk drivers to the road – and throw in all these distracted teenagers… it is a miracle I am around to know about all this.
- They found a cave in Texas which shows (drawings, bones, and things) Humans were there 15,000 years ago. (They were ‘Pre-Clovis people – more is found about them in books.) You can believe this if you do not believe in the Good Book; but you cannot believe both.
And now a few words from Mathuzala, our guest Columnist.
- Experiments on us rats have shown: Brain implants can improve memory. Some of your people have had these implants, too. I am not saying these implants have improved your minds.
- There is a Hindu sect which believes wise men come back as Rats. I can tell you this much: I choose not to come back as a human, especially not a wise one.
- Trust no one. Not even yourself.
(-Ed.note: We are interrupting Mathuzala’s column at this point – out of concern Mathuzala is getting a little too strident, a little too soon.)
As usual, we will end this with a few salient quotes:
- “A strong memory is generally coupled with an infirm judgement.” -Motaigne (In case you have been watching the Hearings lately)
- “God is still up there.” – Senator Imhofe, head of Environment & Public Works Committee – while claiming Climate Change is a “Hoax”…and “…there is a conspiracy to shut down the machine known as America.”
- “Nobody knows Anything!” – W. Goldman (Movie script-writer, Script doctor – Hollywood)…talking about the “Movie Business”; but the idea could hold true in other areas of Human Activity.
Take care out there,
ALERT! The TEDDIES may be postponed – beyond the November 2nd date! Rumors abound – regarding “rigged” voting procedures and possible falsifying of the count. It is even feared some awards may be stolen and given to the wrong winner. Stay tuned for more on this – as news breaks.