Update on NOTEFLIX’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: The Girls are still taking a break from the filming set. Here they are looking at food they would eat, if they ate food. If they did eat food, they would never eat any stuffed animals or real meat, being they are Vegans at heart, if they had hearts. (See 5th Bullet below for more on this subject.)

…*EVERYTHING YOU SAY BAD ABOUT ME – BOUNCES OFF ME AND STICKS ON YOU!”   This is?:  1) A Presidential Debate tactic.  2) What I said to my older brother when we bickered in the back seat of the car…when I was four years old.  (Correct Answer at bottom of this posting)


  • I read an article which claimed 73% of American men are in urgent desire of Bio-Plasty (Cosmetic surgery…operations using plastic material for medical purposes).  This is for the benefit of both the people who have to look at those men, as well as those men who have to look at themselves. This is BIG News in that heretofore it was assumed it was the women who were the sole drivers of the Bio=plasty industry. If you are wondering in what industries you might want to invest; you might consider Bio-plastics.  If they make an update on the movie “The Graduate, the old businessman giving advice to the young Graduate could say, “Bio-Plastics, young man.”
  • There are more women in Law School today than there are men.  There are more women in Medical School today than there are men.  This means?:  1) Things will get better.  2) The fees for medical and legal services may go down because historically, women do not get to charge as much as men for their services.  (Correct Answer to bottom of post.)
  • 7% of Americans think Lee H. Oswald was the guy who shot Abraham Lincoln. 42% of Americans still think Iraq was responsible for 9/11.  This means: 1) Maybe there should be some kind of a test to see who gets to vote.  2) H.L. Mencken was right when he said, “In American Democracy the voter gets what he wants – good and hard!”  (Correct choice found below.)
  • 60% of Americans suspect Evolution is on to something…not quite convinced.  But 48% of Republicans think Humans existed in present form from the beginning.  (You do not want to know how many of them think Adam and Eve were really the first people.)  Percentage-wise, more Republicans go, regularly to Church than Democrats; but Democrats (when they go) drop more money in the basket than Republicans – even though Republicans (per-capita) have more money in their pockets than Democrats.
  • (5th Bullet) The average American eats parts of 22,000 animals in his or her life.  I’d be interested in more statistical breakdowns here.  I want to know:  What the numbers are for men vs. women in their animal eating.  What the numbers are for Republicans vs. Democrats.   No matter what the numbers; I’m beginning to believe we have not evolved since the Beginning of Time. (See above photo for more on this subject.)
  • It is estimated there are over 150,000 ‘Vets’ walking around with PTSD who have not received ‘Treatment’.  And there are even more untreated Americans walking around with PTSD who have never been to Iraq or Afghanistan…not even out of the “Inner City”.
  • It is said more billionaires live in the 740 Park Ave. building (NYC) than in any other building in the world.  I wonder if 740 sank into a hole in the ground (god forbid, of course) how many jobs would be lost…Just saying.
  • Polls suggest people we can confide in have gone down from 3 to 2 in the past decade.  If this trend keeps going, soon we will be able to trust no one.  What with:  Bio-plastic faced people, crazed PTSDers, Republicans short shrifting the Church basket, women lawyers suing me in the future and nobody knowing who shot Lincoln anymore…I will confide in you that I already trust no one.

And now from our guest columnist Mathuzala:


“Come up Hither,

  • “Global Human traffic is estimated as being over a 150 billion dollar annual business – and growing.  Something about your systems are not working.  We rodents do not sell each other, nor force each other into labor.
  • “You need new laws for war.  The old ones do not work and are permitting dangerous outcomes for your “Civilization”; not to mention the well-being of Rodents.
  • “Your game of Baseball used to be played until one team scored 21 runs; but you managed to change the rules to that.  Unfortunately, you only seem to be able to change rules for games.
  • “True leadership comes from the bottom and goes upward.  We are at the very bottom and are coming to the fore….”

(Our editorial staff  has ‘taken down’ the rest of Mathuzala’s article in order to make a review of the intent of its content – and ascertain it is not of a threatening or politically false nature.)

And now a few lyrics from Oldies, but Goodies:

  • “The whole world’s going to pot/whether you like it or not/Best I can tell, it’s going to hell/but I’m sure going to miss it a lot.”  -Merle & Willie.
  • “It’s the same the whole world over/It’s the rich what gets the pleasures/ It’s the  poor what gets the blame.  Aint it all a crying shame?” – old Cockney song, (Best sung with appropriate Cockney accent:  “It’s the sime the ‘ol worl ova/ it’s the rich what gets the plezhahs, it’s the poo-a what gets the blime /eye-n’t it all a cryan shime?”)

(All answers above are correct.)

Thank you for your time, this time,

Remember: The TEDDIES are coming November 2nd.  Vote now for your favorite Stuffed Animal character, or actor, or Scriptwriter.  Bork, the Angry Purple Slug (Seen at the bottom of Big Bear’s hind left paw.) is not eligible for an award in that he/she has never officially been written into the script.


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