Update from NOTEFLIX’s production of ‘Troubles in the Garden”: The female members of our cast are taking a break from the filming. Here, they have asked SIRI to show them a picture of the good times they had while leading a Protest for the rights of Stuffed Animals. Yes, the frog is a girl. If you read further down in today’s posting, you will learn how too much looking at phones could be bad for your necks. But, 1) the members of our cast are not addicted to the phones and, 2) Stuffed animals do not suffer from neck problems.
*Definition of FREE CHICKEN: “Something you don’t have to work for, it just comes to you.” 1) Jargon used frequently by the high-ups in the U.S. military – as in referring to the countless dollars sent to the Defense Department every day by the taxpayers…. 2) Also, the perfect description of the contents of this posting.)
LIGHTNING ROUND #3
(Below are topics you might not have considered recently, being so busy with the real, or fake, news of the day.)
- CORRUPTION: I have read a good deal about public CORRUPTION lately – and I have noticed WOMEN in high office tend to be less corrupt (per capita) than their male counter-parts. Me? I’d like to be tempted by – and resist – the opportunity to become a One Percenter by way of CORRUPTION – just to show that all men are not as bad as are some men.
- WOMEN: I have read a study which shows if you are sick and you have to go to the hospital, the more WOMEN you encounter in your care process, the better off you will be. A) Will this cost men their jobs? B) Is this a study from the “WOMENs’ Cabal”? C) Does this mean sex discrimination will be on the rise in that more WOMEN will be hired than men – just because they are better at their work?
- ASCULTATION: The art of listening to the body to detect disease. The Stethoscope is an ASCULTATION tool. It was invented in France by a doctor who was reluctant to put his ear next to a woman’s breast. Now, doctors debate whether this device is obsolete, or any good, or simply a sign of professionalism. It is said doctors, by nature are conservative and once they learn to do something – one way – it is difficult for them to embrace a different technique. 1) Maybe, I am a natural born doctor. 2) So, If I have it right, the French doctor did not want to put his ear next to the woman breast; but he did not mind putting his hand with the stethoscope-thing on her breast. Something does not work with this story. No wonder there are more WOMEN doctors now than there were.
- I read some young adults are having INJECTIONS in their necks to counter the effects of wrinkles and droopings caused by constantly looking downward at their smart phones – playing games and asking Siri everything there is to ask. A college professor of mine said an educated person was one who knew how to find the answer to ‘things’. Well, by that reasoning today, everybody who has a phone is an educated person. But the smart ones are not getting INJECTIONS in their necks to get rid of wrinkles and droopings, or are they?
- Sometimes I think life is like one of those ‘Crane Games’ you used to find at a fair or an amusement park. You know the one: there was a big see-through bucket of items you could choose from – Rubber Ducks, small puzzle games, toy soldiers – stuff like that, stuff you suddenly really wanted…and there were 4 knobs you had to control, one knob moved the crane to the left, another to the the right, another moved the arm up, another down…and then you hit a button and the crane picked up what you had hovered over…All the knobs worked in a haphazard manner and the crane never moved exactly over what you wanted and when you hit the ‘Select’ button you got the Chinese Finger Clamp instead of the Rubber Duck. Every time. No caring WOMEN, no neck INJECTIONS are ever going to help you get that rubber duck. That’s life. Sometimes.
And now a few words from MATHUZALA, our guest Columnist:
- One of your great American Indian Chiefs, Chief Joseph, said “What happens to the Beast, will also happen to the man.” But I know what happens to the man will also happen to the Beast – so we must prevent man from the ‘Big Happening ‘ he is bringing upon himself, for the sake of the Beasts.
- There is no such thing as ‘FREE CHICKEN’.
- There is a theory that your brains are evolving, and that may or may not prove to be true; but what you really want is: Your MINDS to evolve. There is no theory postulating this is happening.
- Your ‘Good Book’ is reputed to say ‘Go forth and multiply’, but I think there was something wrong in the translation, centuries ago….I suggest the instructions originally were:”Go forth and do the Math.” The intent being to use your minds and plan things out, in order to prevent problems from having to be solved later on… such as the over-population problem – which you have created by your having gone forth and multiplied.
Remember, The TEDDIES are coming. Only a month away. Will The Multicolored Bluebird of Happiness be voted the favorite Male Lead? Or will Jack the evil, rich Prince, somehow take that award? Will Mamzelle Pinkie be voted ‘Favorite Female Romantic Lead’? Or, will Bork, the vicious and angry Purple Slug (Seen above under the big Bear’s hind paw), who may not even be female (Who knows what slugs are?)…will Bork slime away with the prize? Do not be intimidated! Vote now – and often. Come back next week for election updates.