Memory Lane, from NOTEFLIX Productions: Mamzelle Pinkie is having a mental flashback, thinking of when she was younger (See dream image of Mamzelle Pinkie in Background.) Sometimes, she wishes she were young again and less wrinkled and had pinker feet – like back in the old says. See Bork, the Angry Purple Slug, in the plant above. He is hoping to take advantage of this information and maybe sell Mamzelle Pinkie an ointment, or something.
- REPRESENTATIONAL DRIFT: Have you ever come across a mirror, unexpectedly, and been shocked by what you saw there? How is that? Have you noticed you rarely see a good photo of yourself? If you see an old photo of yourself, do you tend to think you looked better then? Even though, at the time when you first saw it you thought it was not as good as you really looked? Or is it just me? Well, I’ve been doing some reading on this. it turns out there are several explanations and you may not, in fact, be going insane. One explanation is our memories are malleable and we tend to alter them for a whole host of reasons; but you might think of yourself, and then remember yourself, in a better way than the mirror does. Another explanation is in a theory called REPRESENTATIONAL DRIFT. This is a neurological/scientific term alluding to the fact that as some of our brain cells die out (brain cells which contain parts of our accumulated information). They are replaced by newer (maybe even healthier) ones…but these new cells contain no old information (some of which gave us pertinent details). You have, in fact lost some old memories, thereby. This could explain why you are shocked at what you see in the mirror, or why you think you looked so much better long ago. I tell you this so you don’t think you are necessarily falling apart, or have been infected by that Brain Eating Amoeba, (which Newsweek wrote an article about; but I was too cheap to pay the $120 subscription fee to read how bad things really are.) My advice: Avoid mirrors and new photos. (If you find yourself staring into the refrigerator for long periods of time and wondering why you are standing there – that is another problem, entirely – and will be addressed in a future posting. )
- ALGORYTHMIACS: Have you ever looked for the price of an airline ticket from ‘here to there’, found the price…and then later, checked for the ticket price again – and found the price has suddenly gone up? Yes you have. This is because the ALGORYTHMIACS (my term for the Algorythm people) know you want to go ‘here to there’ and they are taking advantage of you. Pretty smart, eh? It does not stop with your travel queries. ‘They’ are constantly watching whatever you are searching, or looking at on-line or on your iPhone and calculating what ‘They’ can sell you next. But, I’ve been thinking, they are not as smart as they think they are. Why, for example, are ‘They’ are sending me (on Social Media and Emails) countless ads for: Cleaning my gutters, or lawn treatments, or fixing my roof? (I don’t own a house), or for amazing German hearing aids? (I hear just fine – at least I think I do), or for Burial Insurance (I feel fine – at least I think I do…maybe, ‘they’ know something I do not know), or an ointment for sagging neck wrinkles (how dare they?) It goes on and on…Sometimes I think the ALGORYTHMIACS have the wrong person – even though ‘They’ are correct in knowing I want to go to Paris. I wish there were a digital place I could go to and tell ‘them’ everything I wanted ‘Them’ to know about me, so they would send me ads for the stuff I wanted to have – but I guess if I did that, ‘They’ would charge me more than I wanted to pay.
NOTES FROM ABROAD: I have been living in Tuscany for over a year and a half. Everyday, I read Headlines and News articles about what is happening back “in the States”. Either “things” are changing back there, or I am seeing things with a different perspective – being so far away and all. Here is what I see:
- Fights: People are fighting on airplanes. I don’t remember that happening before. A Steward’s teeth being knocked out. A passenger being zip-tied before he could get into the cock-pit in a screaming rage. Men refusing to wear masks. Women refusing to wear masks. Airplanes in mid-air turning back to the closest airport to land safely and disgorge unruly passengers.
- Congresspeople: Not knowing what the Holocaust was. Congresspeople not wanting their constituents to know the true history of our country (…About American Indian genocides, Slavery – things like that). Congresspeople not wanting to make voting simple and easy for all constituents. Congresspeople trying to prevent the country from learning how/what happened in the January 6th riot – some stating the riot was just a group of tourists, if you can imagine. It used to be Congresspeople were just accused of corruption and sex crimes – but now it seems – From Abroad, mind you – there is a true Confederacy of Dunces trying to run things. Tell me what I’m missing, please.
- People with guns shooting people. Cops shooting people. PeopIe shooting cops, who are people too. Reading the ‘Dailies’ it seems this is going on more than ever. Whatever the case, it looks like the ‘Wild West’ of yesteryear had nothing on what is happening in the States today. Whether this image is true, or not – it is an image of us that is being projected “across the pond”.
And now, on a lighter note, a few words from our Guest Columnist MATHUZALA
“One of your Elite Universities did a study on us Rats and the effects of feeding us high Fructose Corn Syrup. It turns out High Fructose Corn Syrup is more fattening than sugar. The rats became obese, but, worse, the females became the most obese. Nobody has paid any serious attention to this study. Just like nobody pays attention to your studies on Climate Change, Water Pollution and Collective Conscious Loss, etc., etc. We will take control, and when we do, you will not even remember how things were before. WCACCW?!*”
(*WCACCW!: Rough translation of rodent guttural utterance: We cannot afford Civilization, Can We?!)
We will cut MATHUZALA short at this point. It is possible he has been snacking on ‘Fruit Loops’ a fructose product to which Humans addicted him years ago, and he has gone slightly out of his mind. Then again, it is possible he is telling us something important. Come back next week for more. Either way, if you have not already done so, go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and learn what is happening before it is too late.
And now, a few relevant Quotes:
- “There is a sucker born every minute.” -Attributed to P.T. Barnum …And the ALGORYTHMIACS are counting on that.
- “The sweet, sweet memories you’ve given to me/ You can’t beat the memories you’ve given to me/Don’t forget a small moonbeam/Fold it slightly with a dream/ Your lips and mine/ Two sips of wine/Memories are made of this.” -Sung by Dean Martin, 1955…So much for REPRESENTATIONAL DRIFT.
Be careful out there – and Goodnight Louie, wherever you are.