Update on NOTEFLIX’s never ending story: “Troubles in the Garden”. Our Loving couple, Mamzelle Pinkie and the Multicolored Bluebird of Happiness, are (is?) enjoying Looking at a healthful snack; the contents of which have been approved of by the Food and Drug Administration. They are ‘Looking’ at the snack because, in fact, they are stuffed animals and do not really eat anything. Bork, the Purple Slug in the background is doing his best to intrude in the Romantic scene. Have you noticed, there are always rascals trying to ruin the fun for everyone else? Bork, by the way, if he could choose, he would be from Texas – and he would carry a gun, if he could carry anything. Such is the way of the world.
NOTES, OLD AND NEW:
- NEW: The average American spends 3 hours, 43 minutes a day on his/her phone. That is 2 months a year. My question is: What do they do with the other 10 months? Is it true, as Paul says in his Proverbs, that “Idle Hands are the Devil’s workshop”? I know in Texas they spend time buying guns and strapping them on and then turning in (aka: “ratting on”…) people who contemplate abortions (for the possibility of earning $10,000 per tattle-tailing. All that takes time. Then in some other States some people spend some of their time running away from bad weather/climate conditions. Still, what with not having to leave the house for the job anymore, there will be a lot more time available to spend on the phone.
- OLD – 1989: I met a man, a ‘Street Priest’, a wise man, Father John, who, having heard me complain about the condition of my life – said to me “You have entered “THE AGE OF THE CRUMBLINGS.'” Whereupon I said “No. No. I have passed the Mid-life crisis, already.” And Father John said unto me: “This is different, THE AGE OF THE CRUMBLINGS is when you no longer have the future to bail you out.” ( And here we are – at last.)
- NEW: * The tallest building in San Francisco is leaning more than it should be. The article I read did not say when it would topple over; but I’d move out if I were there…what with ‘The Crumblings” and all. * 62% of Americans are afraid to discuss politics. Me? I’d talk politics with almost anybody, except those ‘Tourists’ who happened by the Capital building a few months ago, or any open carrying, gun shooting, abortion bounty-huntering Texan. …Or any person from one of those other six or eight States which are considering behaving like the Texas. * Toilet Paper hoarding is back on the upswing. Stock market analysts do not agree on what this portends; but they know it means something. * I read Zoos are now considered places where animals are protected – protected from Extinction by man. Only a few years ago, I disliked zoos because they were animal prisons. Now, more than ever, I do not know what to think.
- OLD – 2015: This note said there were over 63,000 bridges & tunnels deemed to be structurally deficient but the States do not have the money to fix them. A cohort of Republicans in Congress did not believe there was any ‘infrastructure problem in this great country’ and zero dollars were designated to fix things and instead placed the Department of Transportation’s budget in their “Cross-hairs” and gutted it. There. I implied a political statement.
- OLDER – 2012: It says here: The program that tests safety of Produce is on the chopping block. Some Congressperson said “See? No more costly re-calls…all the vendors and producers will chip in and self-regulate and our food supply will be as good as ever.” I’m not making this stuff up. It is a sort of first grader’s belief in the ‘Invisible Hand’ theory; but you should carefully watch out for what hands have been on your Chicken McNuggetts, Chic-fill thing-a-ma-jigs and and salty pork rinds.
- OLD – UNDATED (circa 2010): The man died who discovered that the box of Wheaties, the actual box itself, contained more nutritious value than did the Wheaties themselves. I forgot to write his name down, but nobody stopped eating Wheaties anyway.
NEW NOTES FROM TUSCANY:
Some things are different over here:
- No Vanity Plates. When I was living in the States, I would spend a good deal of mental energy, while on the road, trying to decode the license plates of the car in front of me. “LZY SU”, “BOOMER”, “Pellham 123”, “I Heart NYC”…that sort of thing. Over here, the license plates are just numbers and letters. Now, I can spend all my driving time just worrying about how crazy the driving is over here. Why do I care if it is Boomer or Lazy Sue who is cutting into my lane, or reading her phone when the light turns green? What good does it do me knowing who they are and what they think about New York?
- I have been here for almost two years and I have not seen one person carrying a firearm. Nor have I read about any school shootings in Tuscany. Or shootings of any kind. It has been said the Italians love America and for over a half century have welcomed ‘American Culture’ into their ways. I hope some of our ‘ways’ do not travel abroad.
And now a word from MATHUZALA:
- “Your ‘Leaders” took pictures of the Earth from outer space over fifty years ago. They saw brown blips in the water. They decoded the blips. They were Shrimp beds. The Analysts realized the Shrimp fishing fleets were fishing in the wrong areas. Then they saw yellow blips. The yellow blips were oil. ‘They’ know where all the oil is. ‘They’ know where the copper and gold is. ‘They’ know where everything is. Have ‘They’ told you where everything is? I think not. “They’ gave the information to the Big Corps. You are left out of the splendor. But; We know where everything is. We will share with you, if you join us…”
That is all we can print of Mathuzala’s message – for it might be taken down by the Social Media platform people if it were to continue. If you want to know more about MATHUZALA and his rag-tag outfit, please go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and buy “THE RAT PAPERS” and perhaps you will find out where everything is and how to get it. (Ed. note: Observe the Italics on perhaps.)
And now a few quotes:
- “The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.”
- “Go ahead, make my day.” -Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry, “Sudden Impact“
- “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
“That’s all there is, There ain’t no more…until next week…And “Hello” to Father John, wherever you are…
1 thought on “IF I GET TO HEAVEN BEFORE YOU DO – I’LL DRILL A HOLE AND PULL YOU THROUGH”
Chris, you are so funny, you make me laugh out loud.
Give my best to Pam.