Late Sping Early Fall
Update on Noteflix’s production of “Troubles in the Garden”: No progress has been made on on this Season’s Episodes – due to ongoing problems with our writers. However, we are delighted to show you (Above) that some progress has been made, somewhere. Our birds have been fed, They have learned to fly. Soon they will take off for warmer parts. And perhaps, in the near future, we can get back to our serious work and not be distracted by the works of nature. Come back next week for more.
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LESSONS IN CONVERSATIONAL ENGLISH:
- If you are sitting with somebody and he/she says “…to make a long story short“…you will know it is too late…the story has been going on for too long already and it will go on a lot longer. (This is an ‘Idiotsyncrosy’ – my word)
- If you are sitting with somebody and he/she says “…with all due respect…” you will know that person does not respect what you have just said. It is usually used as a way to break into the conversation and make an opposing point of view. Remember: the person has just lied. (Another Idiotsynchrosy)
- If you are sitting with somebody and she/he says – at the end of his or her monologue: “That being said…” it means that whatever she/he has just said was, in fact, the truth – and will continue to go on and make the story longer than shorter. If on the other hand if she/he says “That being said…’ in reference to what somebody else has said, she/he is really saying she/he respectfully disagrees with what has just been said. Sometimes it is better to just nod your head in pleasant agreement and order another coffee.
- “To tell the truth…” , or Truth to tell…”or “Honestly…” if your talking partner (opponent?) starts off with any of these preliminary conversational pieces you could be alarmed that if he/she had not used them in prior comments – perhaps, everything she/he said earlier was not true – and only what will be said next is the truth…You should ask if that were the case before you continue on.
- WARNING: Studies have shown that if you are talking to someone and you see she/he’s mouth is moving but, suddenly, you cannot understand what he/she is saying, all you hear is noise, – this may be a signal of an oncoming stroke. Truth to tell and that being said you should probably stop talking to that person immediately.
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Have you seen this rat? MATHUZALA, our Resident Rodent Guest Columnist has gone missing for several months now. However, we sense he is alive and well – as we can see the noses in front of our face and we witness protests in our streets and a general sense of unease in our communities. It is possible MATHUZALA’s plans are coming to fruition…if you want to know what is happening, see the product being hawked below.
Unpaid Ad: Question Why has this book not been banned in Florida or Texas? Answer: Because the Authorities have not read the book, they tend to read only Children’s books down there. Nor has the Supreme Court read the book – yet. Hurry. Buy this (Non) BEST SELLER while you can. Buy two; sell one to a friend. (Amazon or Barnes & Noble, or wherever books like these are sold.)
Some quotes:
- “Brevity is the Soul of Wit…and Tediousness the Limbs of Outward Flourishes…” -W. Shakespeare, “Hamlet” Act 11, Polonius…giving advice…
- “A lie will go round the world while the truth is pulling its boots on.” -C.H. Spurgeon, Preacher, 1859 (often incorrectly attributed to Mark Twain.)
That’s it for now…and a fond “Hello” to Clynes, wherever you are.
