The man pictured above is – at this moment – announcing his candidacy for President of the United States. He is running as if he were on the Right Side of the Aisle, in that he hopes to siphon off votes from the man (who shall not be named in this post) who is currently leading the Republicans around by the rings in their noses. The person pictured above is writing his platform, as we write. So far, he says he is not for locking up or shooting any of his political enemies – at least for now. He has also written he will install gun controls, because he has this odd belief that guns help people kill people. He is going to take Corporate money out of the election and political process…(Though, to do so, he admits, he will have to take control of the Supreme Court, which could be a problem) That is why he is remaining nameless, because if this idea takes hold he knows some people or corporations, (who could be people, too,) will kill him dead. He is about to write more about his platform which we will disseminate next week.
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Back to our usual format:
- We have read that the most profitable part of the airline business (aside for baggage charges, of course) is: First Class. Logic would dictate soon there will only be First Class available …but then, if everybody is First Class it would not work because there would be no chance for the people sitting up front to look down on the poor wretches who have to drag themselves and their bags back to the back, and scour around for overhead rack space because being in the back, next to the toilets and serving crew is not First Class…so no one is going to pay First Class to go back there. My guess is things won’t change after all. Poor airlines.
- But Wait!!…
The man pictured above just announced he is Suspending his Candidacy for President. He has learned you do not have to hold any office to become head of the House of Representatives. He may go for that. He claims he is neither for Government Over-Reach, nor for Government Under-Reach and therefor has all bases covered. On the other hand, he is considering running for either the Senate or the House. As for the Senate, it does not matter which State you live in because there is already a Senator from one State who does not live in the State from which he is a Senator for – and no one is challenging that. As for the House, there are Reps who have not used any of their own money to run ( …and it is anybody’s guess whose money has been sacrificed in their election) and who have no experience running anything, nor does anybody know what they have ever done in their lives…So there are many slots available for him to chose from. These are exciting times for the Great Experiment in Democracy. More will be reported as news develops.
Quotes:
- ” Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.” -George Bernard Shaw
- “Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.” -Mark Twain
- “Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. -Twain, again
- “Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.” -George Washington
- “…Harken to my joyful tidings of the Golden Future times;/ Rings shall vanish from our noses/ and the harness from our back/ Bit and spur shall rust forever,/ cruel whips no more shall crack” -George Orwell, “Animal Farm”
- “All Animals are Equal. Some Animals are more Equal than most.” -According to the pig ‘Napoleon’ -again in “Animal Farm”
That’s it for this week. Be careful out there. And “Hello” to Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are
