I woke up the other day in a whole new and different Universe than the one I was supposed to be in. I don’t know how it happened, whether I was abducted, or fell into some kind of Wormhole or what; but there I was and there I am.
The first thing I noticed was my arm was Brown. ”Whoah!”, I thought. I thought I was white all my life and all that went with it was mine, but…then the woman next to me said she thought I should stay inside the shelter, until this “ICE” thing is over. “What the Hell?” I thought. This is not the way it’s supposed to be…Then I shook my head and pressed my temples and I was me once again and my arm was white and all was good; but then, then I looked at my phone and saw the news of the day…
Kamala Harris was not the President anymore…What happened? The big lying blob was President, so they say…and he was angry and acting strange and not making any sense…and talking about Hillary and Epstein and Comey and Harvard and I shook my head again and pressed my temples but I could not get out of that awful universe.
And Americans wearing masks and batons and carrying shackles were beating on and capturing other Americans who had brown arms and then there were photos of the captured Americans in Concentration Camp settings with well dressed white Politicians wearing expensive watches and fine jewelry standing in front of the human packed cages – smiling for the cameras …and I shook my head but I could not get out of that universe.
And then I saw a picture of The President of the United States, shuffle-walking in his high heels, but smiling, as he got on Air Force One as he was bound to his Golf Course in Scotland to play an eighteen holer. And I got a headache from shaking my head and pressing my temples…but here I am still stuck in the most cruel and bizarre of all possible universes.
And then I saw a clip of the President who said eggs had gone down 400% and I figured that meant if you bought a dozen eggs the seller would give you 3$s for buying them and I went out to buy a hundred dozen but I couldn’t because I had been wearing a doo-rag on my head and ICE thought I was pro-Palestinian or maybe even worse – a Muslim…and started to shackle me… and I shook my head and rubbed my temple so hard I blacked out and when I woke up I was lying in a street outside an evacuated hospital because there were no funds to run the place anymore but it did not matter because it turned out I was in El Salvador and then things really got bad. What had I done to deserve this? I did not vote for this Right Wing Cabal. I Believe in climate Change, in the equality of man and women…well, maybe now I think half the American people are equal and up to standards…I don’t participate or even watch porn, I pay my bills, I try to do good – if I have a choice…and suddenly I am in a world where I can get arrested for being white while driving…granted it was not fair before; but it is unfairer now…oh, God my head hurts from all the rubbing…
And then I went to sleep and I had a terrible nightmare; but it was not as bad as the daymare I had been living in and I did not want to wake up even though I was being chased around by Goblins and could not find my way home.
But wake I did and this time I was in Gaza and boy was I hungry and there was no food or no anything but starving to death people who looked as bad as those pictures of the concentration camps from the 40’s…and then bombs started to fall and I rubbed and rubbed and went back to look for those Goblins…but a blast of light occurred and suddenly I was in another realm…this time there were all these young girls and, and wait: Who is that? Is it the President of the United States? I thought he was in Scotland on the back nine…but no, here he was, only younger and I knew I was living in the past and the past was not as great back then, as I was told it was… what with all these men with all these girls…
And then my phone rang and brought me to this reality, the one I started from…and the phone had an urgent news alert…and the alert said The President of the United States has made a deal with Coca Cola to add real sugar into some of its drinks. And I said to myself “What a Wonderful World”…I sort of sang it as I went out the door to face the day…
And a fond “Hello” to Malcolm, wherever you are…
